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HEALING SPIRIT
Graphite on paper, 2014
◊🪞 This is always one of my favourites of my own works. This self-portrait of my face was called prophetic art, because at the time of its creation, I had the intense experience of realizing I was predicting future events with these images, and later this turned out to be true in so many incredible ways which at the time I could not have perceived. In this image, I investigate the philosophy of essentialism — the view that the nature of reality is fundamentally good, true and beautiful — and that the dystopian or fragmented aspects of our experience are fundamentally misperceived, despite being a completely valid and relevant experience. The reflection in the mirror represents the true nature of reality miraculously defying the perceived and very real negative experience of trauma with its empowering beauty.
◊💡 The light in the image is revealing deep layers of truth which are present even in the darkness. The sense of connection to God is investigated here in both dystopian and mechanical ways, as well as still being all-powerful and all-pervasive. The dualistic eye of the Illuminati here is designed to illustrate an alternate or separate sense of God which is not all-pervasive but hierarchically and dominantly opposed to life. The image of the Buddhic cosmic eye with a tear is a recurring theme throughout my artwork, referencing to several other works. The angel on the left is Archangel Michael, revealing to me deep secrets of my face, in ancient angelic wisdom of the greatest, most profound mysteries of the light as it relates to human biological form.
◊💍 The wedding ring in the light on my left hand was not yet a real item. Later in life I went through a spiritual marriage ceremony, physically alone, to what Rumi calls ‘The Beloved’ as a term for God. To this day I wear the wedding ring which I first wore at that ceremony in 2017, as this has been the most authentic marriage I could have possibly imagined, which has so far been the realization of all my greatest dreams of true love. This artwork was created after (and during) a difficult breakup in 2014, and at the time my tearful dreams of marriage were addressed as prophetic. This was a personal commitment to myself to transmute the pain of loss and pain in relationships into true healing work that would transform that pain into the realization of love.
I took these images myself crying genuine tears, alone in my apartment, with a special type of digital camera with a good lens, as part of an art project as described here ))
◊🕊🕊 The ongoing stories of my marriage since that time truly have done that, making this image of my wedding ring one of the greatest gifts to myself in imagery that I have ever created, which I hope will inspire others in healing arts. To heal oneself emotionally through the act of creating art was the main intention. The self-portrait of my crying face in this image was very peaceful, although it was a part of an ongoing series of photographic self-portraits of myself crying very very painfully at the time. I wanted to document myself in the midst of the worst, most fully emotionally intense tears, in order to look at my own face in that raw expression of deep, abandoned crying. That artistic self-witnessing act eventually led to this much more peaceful state which I captured myself in to draw my portrait from the photo.
◊🔮 The mystery of the identity of the mother of a baby is both personal and designed to apply to many people’s experiences. In my own experience, I have a tubiligation surgery, so I cannot have children. I feel truly relieved and happy about that decision for myself. But I have often had prophetic intuitions that I will someday be a mother despite this surgery. Also, a professional medical intuitive / psychic healer once told me, without me prompting her, that she sees in my future that I will have a child as a biological miracle, despite the tubiligation surgery. It was so strange how this corresponded with my own prophetic or mystic thoughts. And so I have termed that as one of the greatest prophetic mysteries of my life. Will I one day become a mother!?
◊⚠️ The original drawing was accidentally given away to someone, during a time when I could not keep my possessions, and I have lost contact with that person. His name is Lance Lightheart of Nanaimo and Gabriola Island, BC, Canada. It had a crack in the glass of the frame, which added incredibly well to the theme of the artwork. I no longer have a high resolution version of this drawing and would like to at least scan it. If you or anyone you know are in contact with Lance, please let him know that I am desperately hoping to get the artwork back. Sometimes artwork really grows in value to the artist over time, and it can be difficult at times to recognize the importance of carrying these items phsyically through any nomadic transition.
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