It's April 2nd, one day after the rent is due, and yet again I'm in a sketchy situation with the rent. This time it's because I was so sick sooooo many weeks (or more) with 5 concurrent issues (a cold, gastrointestinitis following that, then after that a very serious UTI that required antibiotics, then a liver overload and heavy exhaustion to the extreme with a yeast infection due to having to double up between antibiotics and fluconazole for yeast). That this really took me out of the game way more than is reasonable. I worked while sick as much as I could, but as you can imagine, it was not always possible. Last month's rent was a miracle, and I'm hoping for another miracle this month. My rent is "due" in my mind one month early before the rent due date, because money in my life is often up and down and all over the place — so it's not reliable to believe that just a due date is enough. Rent stress was absolutely tearing me apart in the previous times before I installed this new rule and finally manifested always being a month early. Now, the problem has been coming up that I'm like chronically late (and I always hope no more than a week late but it's edging more to 2 weeks) for the rent a month early though. It's as if the universe doesn't consider that a serious due date. But that actually stresses me out. Regardless of stress though, I normally have at least half the rent by the 1st, and this month I have zero towards it. I've only been able to keep up on groceries and bills. That threatens that I won't even have it until the actual due date, destroying my plan to keep paying it a month early.
The money that went towards my hair was totally another fund — it was not from my working fund and was from a special story where it seemed I should put it towards that dream. And I don't feel guilty for doing that, but I'd hate to diminish the magic of that story about my hair. That will be another manifestation post, and you will see the story in there.
I should tell the story : Last month's rent really was a huge miracle. It was very aligned in my mind with 30 Seconds To Mars because at the time we were in a magical art process of manifestation and I felt we couldn't have a crisis getting in the way of things. I feel the exact same way about this rent. We're definitely in a similar time right now, but now it also involves if I should feel "guilty" about my hair. But also I associated this miracle NIRVANA (cause I always associate NIRVANA with my safety) and all my favourite stars because I know all the stars would always care immensely for my safety as the absolute number one priority. I had posted that I was horribly ill, and very afraid now that I was almost a week late on the rent, and it all arrived just like that in one huge burst shortly after that was posted. In that case, the particular person who found reason to be so extra supportive towards realizing a higher vision together, was something that had been building for a while. It's not like it was literally because I posted my emergency that it happened, although the situation caused me to be way more ambitious about how I approached that potential opportunity. But I felt that signified the way I'm so loved and protected, always with a plan building for me to create it so that it's as if because I voiced my fears, they were secured. I felt it was created so that I would always feel secure in voicing my fears, never afraid on a deeper level when I do.
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