Why I Had To Go To The Hospital In Ambulance
And how my family doctor had previously assessed this issue
OK so what happened is, I've had a recurring welt which I now call an abscess which I talked to my doctor about because it was an uncomfortable recurring issue for the past 8 months. It was on my buttocks, like around an inch away from the anus, a little higher towards the direction of my back. It would swell up and then go down to nothing but a small cyst again and again. I mean, the fact that there's a cyst there is such an important point. A cyst is not like an infection really, it's more like a simple lump that has things like calcium in it and stuff.
An abscess on the other hand is an infection like with pus, like a welt. Now, when I talked to my doctor about it before, sae didn't seem too worried about it necessarily but totally offered to do a surgery on it during or after any swelling. During swelling, it would be an incision to drain it, and after, when it's down again (or even anytime actually) would be an operation to remove the cyst. Now the doctor seemed sure that just of course, removing the cyst would stop it from persisting again and again. What happens is, around the cyst, if and when bacteria kinda bothers it around there, the cyst can kinda rupture a bit on the edges and cause an abscess around it.
But anyway so what happened is, this abscess this time became SO MUCH MORE ANGRY and bigger than usual, and became totally unbearable for sure. I could barely stand, let alone walk, and it was just extremely painful to do small things like go to the bathroom or grab some food.
Thankfully most of my food was fast and easy to make and eat. I assumed that it would go down on its own but on the third day in massive pain, totally bed ridden, finding it was getting worse and not better, and now Tylenol 1's that I had left over from a dental surgery weren't even enough, it was just looking like an ambulance would be required. Since I couldn't sit or stand, I had to get a stretcher and be horizontal for everything. It was wonderful that they had a bed available for my wait. Being hooked up to IV felt a bit intrusive in a way when they were doing the painkillers as I didn't even fully know much about how much they were dosing me, if that was much, but I felt it must be opiates of course. But I did find it quite convenient that they could do the antibiotics through IV. That was cool that it's so fast.
Right before the ambulance arrived, the abscess ruptured and a hole was created in it, then it started draining naturally. This relieved much of the pain, and what came out was inidicative of an abscess. I mean it was viscious blood, the viscious part being pus and the blood being actually because there are so many blood vessels in that area. So I was bleeding profusely the entire time I was there and I'm still bleeding quite a lot and will be for likely a couple days. I had mentioned around that I was expecting a surgery at the hospital and that's to drain the abscess, just with an incision, but it turned out they saw no need for any incision since it had burst on its own. So the other surgery they were considering, I'll explain later.
How It Was Assessed At The Hospital
OK so at the hospital it's totally all addressed around emergency assessment, so it's just aimed to assess just incase anything's way more serious than I had thought. So ultimately what came out is that they had to actually try to find out if they could if this was actually caused by anything else other than the cyst in location away from the anus. Because the abscess had gotten so big, it was encroaching onto the anus, totally stopped only by that change of anatomy there. So what they wanted to know was if possibly this had been a recurrent issue due to another source other than the cyst. They really wanted to find out if it was an anal gland that had become infected and developed a fistula, which is a tunnel formed from pressure through the buttocks to eventually express out finally to the outer buttocks. They didn't know if maybe it had been a coincidence that it seemed the abscess had been repeatedly growing directly out and back in just around that cyst, making it look like it was from the cyst, but they wouldn't even know.
So they did a CT scan (and I almost threw up from what they put in my IV for that but I was OK thankfully). And through that they were able to conclude that there was probably no larger collection of infected area underneath that also needed addressing. But still they couldn't be sure there was no fistule unless through further specialists later on once it's healed that can be all investigated.
Based on my own personal, physical experience, feeling it on the inside and outside myself, I think it's just a cyst. I don't think it's Chron's Disease or anything like a fistule. Which is a huge relief, cause if it was those worse things, the only thing I could ever rely on is just learning to do procedures for myself unsafely at home or going repeatedly to hospital, cause this will totally keep happening for life. And I really don't think so, thank God. I really don't.
A Horrible Incident At The Hospital
But anyway, very sadly there was an incident at the hospital :( Because one nurse thought it was right to so do that sae'd go in with their finger with plenty of lube right into my asshole to feel around in there and try to roughly guess if there was any impression of a fistule that way. And you know I actually gave my consent for that because the nurse threatened that there would require invasive surgery in order to dig in there and search for a fistule if it's not initially assessed this way. And anyway I said to sae "Well since you a a doctor and this is coming from expertise I will have to trust your judgement" but then the nurse failed to mention that sae is not a doctor at all (lol).
And throughout this entire experience the nurse was obviously so much more than freaked out about this being like some semblance of rape. And I must say it was uninformed consent actually since I said that thing about nurse vs doctor and there was no information provided. Cause technically sae had mentioned earlier that sae was a nurse but I was heavily medicated for pain and being addressed by like 12 doctors and nurses or more, constantly coming in and out going on with different statements and asking me to fill them in again and again.
And then after that, the nurse went over to the specialist to report that sae wasn't sure about the findings, which is totally normal for that kind of exam. And the specialist said there's no way that exam or the surgery will be needed in order to find out if it's a fistule. To find out if it's a fistule, there will be a number of tests that can be done by a specialist later which I'll be referred to and this is totally not the time to check, cause the abscess is all totally swolen making it much harder to investigate the area properly. So the nurse came in with me and addressed with the specialist that none of this surgery or any of this was required.
It's not like I can say that was rape, cause I looked that up and it's within normal reason for the nurse to do any examination like that. Although considering if the nurse was freaking because this resembled rape obviously, it might have been of course better if I could have asked the nurse to get a second opinion before giving my uninformed consent. And believe me, that's worth a longer blog about just that incident, cause I've thought so much since about the mentalities at the hospital and how this all seems to have gone down. And just what that implicates within so many other situations. Like for example that they were treating me like I should know things just because it's been said amidst all this chaos, even though I'm heavily medicated, enough to not even answer me when I ask during a calm conversation.
Doctor Visit Tomorrow, Continued Specialists & Aftercare
The doctor tomorrow is going to be so great. I'm just so relieved it's only a cyst and I look forward to discussing that more with my doctor who will be so helpful. As for the specialist later, I've been informed by the specialist who corrected the nurse that they will need to do a colonoscopy to test for the fisture, but I believe that was not even correct. Looks no, a colonoscopy, like sending a tube with a camera up my anus is not the main way to check for a fisture, and that is not at all the main way. So I think that was a cover up maneuver just to make it seem like so all good with what the nurse did, cause theoretically that's sure, one off way they can try (lol). It's not a main way at all (lol). So when I talk to the specialist, they will surely be able to respond to my questions about this possible fistule needing to be investigated perhaps without a colonoscopy of course.
And anyway, they weren't sure how long it will be bleeding for, but likely continuing several days to drain naturally, although most of the draining is done and it's just a large hole, so it could still just bleed even just blood. So they recommended that I just wear a pad, but I feel like that's not even as good. I have a nice kind of stickier painter's tape which is like papery and holds better but not too sticky, that could always be used for this to make my own homemade bandaid which is just a nice pad with this tape just on the area so it's not all a big weird bloody mess just everywhere all over the place in odd places for a menstrual pad. And that's gonna be me for a while. Just with a weird pad on that spot unless it's a lazy day and I just don't mind a menstrual pad (lol).
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