Addition ◊ Police Report & Name Removed
On December 17th, 2025, the name of the perpetrator was removed from this display (and all online displays have already been removed and replaced with this one). That's because thanks to the ongoing emotional support of my father, and my inspiration from Innocent Lives Foundation and many of my favourite bands, especially Marilyn Manson, I have finally felt ready emotionally to report this to police. The following additions will clarify how this has been possible within the law. Now that the issue is in police hands, I am removing his name from the post. In the future, if I am successful in having him convicted, his name will be publicly displayed on the web by police websites to inform the community.
Addition ◊ Age Discrepancies
On December 10th, 2025, a mistake in the title of this index post was fixed, from age 12 to age 13. I was 13 when I first had sex with Phil Snelgrove, but I kept this secret from my parents. Only a month or two after that time, I turned 14 (the legal age of consent in Ontario at that time), and at that age, my parents found out but they thought the relationship had begun when I was already 14. After speaking to my Dad about this, I feel much more confident that reporting Phil might actually succeed, and I'm feeling so much closer to taking that step. As a kind response to this archive, my father responded with the following additional information and gave his permission for me to post his message here :
Addition ◊ Rape of My Best Friend by Phil Snelgrove
After posting this originally to instagram, my mind came back to another serious incident that also happened with Phil. At the time of this "relationship" with Phil, I was best friends with a young woman in her early 20's, whom I usually visited every day at her house. Unfortunately, one night when Phil joined us for our usual hangout sessions, he started becoming very pushy about the fantasy of having a threesome with me and my friend.
She and I had never had sex, although the idea of it caused a giggle for her, since we were such close friends. This was apparently her reason stated, why she somewhat put up with this pushy and constant suggestion throughout the night. However, repeatedly we both said no, and he continued to sexually harass us ongoingly. Later in the night, he and I were resting in the living room after my friend had retired in her bedroom, leaving the bedroom door open as usual. He then went into the room and raped her. I heard her saying no, and trying to stop him.
Hearing the whole thing going on audibly in the other room, I was stunned. I was unable to register the seriousness of the rape. The next day she spoke to me seriously about this as a rape incident, and I took that to heart and discussed it with her, but didn't know what to do. To us both, the idea of going to police seemed to be extreme, or socially out of place with Phil's close relation with me as a boyfriend.
This story has been a source of shame for me, as my friendship with her came to an end later when she judged that I was a danger in her life, by bringing this predator into her home. That impacted me very deeply, which I think is why this rape incident didn't come to mind again for so many years until I was finally reflecting on my #MeToo statement over long periods of time. Now, reflecting on this fills me with concern about likely repeat violations and the need to report him to police.
Addition ◊ Innocent Lives Foundation
Innocent Lives Foundation is mentioned in my instagram #MeToo above but this story is not explained. It is an organization which works hand in hand with law enforcement to identify anonymous online child predators and help bring them to justice. By following their instagram, out of general interest, previous to the #MeToo instagram post above, I learned a lot about this topic, and this is what inspired me to recognize that Phil Snelgrove was an online child predator specifically. This reminded me that our initial connection was through an early online chat room, one of the first chat rooms back in 1996.
I disovered the ILF through Foo Fighters drummer Ilan Rubin, whose mother in law is on their board of directors. He hosted a live Q&A and interview with an ILF representative, with a whiskey tasting and conversation, which I joined in on in the Q&A chat and was responded to. This led to my research into them, which has been an incredibly healing and powerful gift, as you see here. I am eternally grateful for that exposure to such a wonderful organization, and I highly recommend deepening into their resources.
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