I know everyone has the same issue, but I'd have to say — I think my only mental health condition is stress about rent and bills. After being sick for 5 or 6ish weeks last month, my finances were completely fuckin blown. Today's the first, and I think I paid my loan payment like 5 minutes late or the payment was registered on another time zone, so I'm waiting to see if I get a penalty for being late or not. The rent itself was about a month later than I usually pay it (although it was on time for when it's legally required by the landlord). And I've been in a state of desperation, taking on work I don't feel as comfortable with, and considering risks.
For example, I was approached by a biker gang that was looking for models to pose on their motorcycles for a calendar. I didn't think it sounded like it paid well likely, but my text asking how much it pays didn't go through. Maybe the universe was against it which is probably why my text didn't go through. But I laughed and thought "This is compromising myself obviously out of financial desperation to even respond". Like I don't model for photographers, that's not supposed to be my rules — and besides, biker gangs are obviously well known to be dangerous. That's my life right now (lol) (sweat).
As another example, I took on a counselling role with a guy who has BPD, and I always did say, working with people with BPD seems beyond my skill level and does seem a bit on the scary side for me. But hey, I just made an exception because I needed the money. And this guy — yeah — he was stressing me out a lot. It was alright cause he was on a less volatile side of the spectrum, but I just thought "This is my stressed reality with money being such an issue" cause as much as I don't judge the guy, he just has a communication style which tends to get very freaked and stressed, and it's almost terrifying to think just how bad it could get at any time, cause I don't yet know this person that well.
Yeah I consider stress a huge condition for me, but it's a condition which is only from the outside, just based on financial problems.
Then there's exhaustion. It's so weird — I don't know how this makes sense — but for some strange reason I've been totally dealing with massive exhaustion ever since I was sick. I think perhaps my liver has taken a lot of punishment from all the medications which lasted. So I've been having quite a bit of trouble exercising enough, and I'm certain I'm going to be fat. I'm working on a plan of how to get myself to exercise more, though. I think I might have a trick. Wild story but I used to have movement issues getting out of bed in the morning and I felt kinda paralyzed when first waking up, but I did a spiritual meditation to resolve it. And it was 100% permanently resolved and has been fixed for I dunno, 3 years ish.
What happened was, I called on Archangel Michael for movement of my body in the mornings, and that worked — but then I felt Michael was spiritually communicating to me that I should start calling on Russell Brand instead for that. Haha, isn't that funny? It sounds hilarious, but the thing is, actually, Russell Brand is really into yoga and movement arts, though. So it's appropriate. So anyway, that worked even better. I started feeling the spiritual presence of Russell Brand coming over me, making my body learn tricks for how to get myself up. For example, grab my calves and start rocking my body using centrifugal force to get up (and other things like finding angles of easy rolling out of bed).
I'm thinking maybe it might work if I use Russell Brand as an object of meditation for this purpose. But I'm not totally sure if that would fully work, cause there's more to it psychologically when it comes to exercise. That said, I've already felt like Russell was coming over me spiritually trying to show that on some level of his being, this would interest him to help — because I started feeling his spiritual influence getting me to stretch sometimes when sore muscles from what exercise I've done seems to make me feel like I don't want to bother moving. I mean I used to be so proactive about stretching but now things like that don't come naturally anymore.
I'm pretty beaten up and bruised from being sick before, both physically and emotionally, but I assume people recover progressively even if it's one of those longer processes like this, so I'm just trusting it will work out with time.
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