Update on the following post follows the initial post, for how things improved the next day :
Rough news. The trauma and shock after the hospital has left me practically fully disabled from being able to work for a couple days now. Total overwhelm. It just feels like the whole world is falling down on my head with the weight of the world. I am really not having a graceful recovery. Aside from physically, that is. Of course, people bring their toxic rude disrespectful attitudes to me with no regard for my feelings as well, during this time. I feel like I've given up hope of all my ideas of what could solve this crisis for me and I'm no longer confident that my life will repair. I need some financial support right now but I'm too scared to ask for help cause the thing is, if I'm not empowered to support myself, there becomes a crisis of asking for too much help which turns out not to be the real solution. I cannot sustain myself on JUST asking for help. I need to work and if I can't, I need to accept and acknowledge that my life is falling apart. That's what I feel is happening. I'm having an existential crisis about that.
Update ◊ August 13th, 2026 :
OK good news. I'm feeling well enough to work today the next day. I do hope this issue won't just be cycling back and forth but I feel better now and I'm capable of being prepared for work at least. Also, I had a healing dream last night and morning revelations that led to repair of my existential crisis and that sense that there's no hope now and I fear that my life is going down the drain. I had a feeling it was just temporary shock and overwhelm from the ER, and at least my existential crisis is solved.
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