Well it's Trent Reznor's birthday and in honour of him today I thought I'd put up just one more post on here. I have other things I need to work on but this new blog is just started and I know Trent would appreciate this being put up. Now, I can't put Trent Reznor on any of the official materials for UNITY LIFE Mystery School due to a complicated situation which I guess comes down to money. I know that's a boring reason, but the story is much more exciting than that, and fascinating about Ayahuasca, but simply put and totally honest — when I have more money, I'll be in a position to include Trent but that's currently impossible. But you know, I always love my Treznie, so thinking of him today I thought I'd put up the thing I know he likes the most. By "likes" I should say, I mean would like if he was introduced to this. This is just purely based on intuition alone why I think he would like this, but I'm very comfortable saying it cause I'm absolutely certain.
So this is just my opinion but this is a very strong belief. And the reasons why this idea is not promoted like on the forefront of my stuff is obvious based on the title already, but should be explained even further. I guess I'll start with that, but it's a fairly compelling idea even before you look at the fact that it's like people's minds are illogically blocked from processing this thought for reasons of just limitation which shouldn't play into it. I mean if the search for actual truth is what we are on here in this life, we should be checking our blind spots — but I understand, people are searching for emotional relief from their miseries, and that's more on the forefront — and this has translated into pretending that the search for truth is the search for anything that will seem to help them not stress in a microsecond of thought. Most people associate mental and emotional tensions with reflexes like to say "That's no ttrue". But anyway (lol).
So first of all, depression and addiction and stuff like that ... it's tragically so common. Addiction, not everyone faces it with serious drugs or chemicals necessarily that they're aware of, but let's just say, addiction is like the most confronting complication of our world as to how it seems to exaggerate our views on our own total lack of freedom to escape pain. It's like the ultimate extensive picture of a giant way that people can't escape pain. Even those who don't deal with addiction do deal with pain of all kinds and often feel trapped in it and very carried away by it, so the image of chemical and drug addiction really does actually become a huge attachment for people. The image of addiction strangely provides comfort. It's something actually that kinda says, "Sometimes it's not a person's fault that they are in pain" cause you know it's actually an outside substance which is foreign to the biology which seems to blame.
So when we see someone is addicted to drugs, this becomes like a fantasy in itself — a view on pain which is not the person's fault to wish you were in but then again not want for real. Just something to idealize as an image to look at and just keep viewing for entertainment practically.
It's like that vicariousness obsession sometimes — just sometimes it really is that you are comfortable knowing that something you do want in a way (like an excuse for being trapped in pain that it's not your fault in some sense) is also something you don't literally want for real — so you just get centred on viewing it, that's all.
And forget about it too when the viewer is actually experiencing heavy addiction too. Like in that state, that's actually being immersed in wallowing shame normally, no matter how much you may be in denail of that shame, and so of course, to see a famous and successful rich person actually succeeding to any degree in something, can be very emotionally important to you on some level. Like take Trent Reznor's crazy performances in NIN back in the 90's when he was obviously wasted out of his skull, flailing all over the stage and stuff like that, missing lots of notes and all that kinda thing but still screaming really well and managing to carry on song to song without losing the set list — it was like with seeing that with thousands of screaming fans, backed up by a huge sound system with a skilled band, that was accessing that feeling like that somehow, some way, there's gotta be a way that just barely hanging on despite it all is enough.
So all said, it's mindblowing just how much the beleif that Trent was addicted to drugs and way too high, and this was not some kind of a trick with an acting job and stuff, would feel insulting actually. I mean it's like to even insinuate that guys like Trent and Manson and Kurt Cobain were actually acting and .... I mean even say if like Trent was just on shrooms and had been drinking but wasn't on hardcore opiates and crack / meth or God knows, this kind of a thing is deeply insulting to even see slightly said, regardless if it would be true or false. Because that idea, people feel that it robs them of the comfort they have found internally just in that image of an addict making it by just barely despite it all. It's like they feel that you've robbed them of the truth that it's OK to just barely hang on or that can be enough — which is true and beautiful in some ways — and this feels robbed because they've encapsulated it in an unhealthy way into vicarious obsessions with people outside of themselves and just how they want to believe it for their conveneience.
And just the whole idea to actually create that image for people to latch onto from that place of unprocessed pain or shame or whatever, in order to get famous, it really is actually one of the most genius ideas that would work the most (lol). Because what's more common to our world rigtht? than pain and confusion (lol) </3. And what is fame right? but just like a picture that you're guaranteed, everyone's gonna want to not just look at but fully latch onto as something they can use to somehow pacify their misery. I mean like when they joke around about how that one star is your drug, and you're addicted to them — literally Trent is so into this idea — that is really not that far from the truth just if you'd think that the brain produces certain types of chemical and whatever else reactions in the brain when there's a perceived security from the deepest sense of internal threat. So it's amazing that that explains why drug addicted and tragic star stories seem to get the most ratings or whatever.
Now that's a deep psychological condition, and simply put, if any star could have noticed that, they could have thought of this way of getting famous. But I understand, that's actually an incredible insight into psychology. So how would a guy like Trent Reznor or other stars have figured this shit out, and why would they even think of that? I mean the fact that I've thought of that, in my case, is obviously a direct result of my background with Ayahuasca and as a healer. I think psychedelics in general are prone to bringing up those types of micro-observations about psychology sometimes, to get over vices. Not just in visions, but I think as a general tone that carries on way beyond the psychedelic journey. I mean, you know how people who have done a lot of psychedelics, it seems to color their personalities? They seem drawn to brighter colored clothes even, all kinds of little details, they are more into joking and having cute jokes, all kinds of weird different things. Well that's only the surface of something much deeper. It's that it alters your style of processing information permanently for the better.
So there's no question, psychedelics totally may have played a part in the story with Trent Reznor how he picked up on this, but also he's a really crafty smarty pants guy though too. Every star really has their own very unique personality. For example in contrast, Kurt was a smart guy but obviously not like THATTTT like Trent Reznor was practically the hugest geek guy you've ever seen. You know? Geek style smart. So like in Kurt's case, as I mentioned in the last post before this in this new blog, it's obviously a total result entirely from Ayahuasca how he got these ideas into his head, and for him it wasn't really about the emphasis on just doing whatever it takes like in that way, as to trick any amount to people. But Trent's a little darker, so he might have had no fear about trickster techniques being just embraced and wanted to any degree if it would work to get him famous. And that's pretty much how I see it throughout stars. I just think some were more curious about how much tricking people could actually work for fame, and others were more thinking from another plane just onto psychedelic directives that seemed more positive overall, but then again there's always the combination of influences.
But there's another way too that I imagine Trent (and so many more) have gotten this idea into their heads. And I really really think, this is a VERY VERY COMMON THING to pretend they are on drugs when they are not at all, as a trick to get more famous. Which has obviously worked. And the othe rway like with Trent I think is just actually figuring it out by observing other stars who are already doing it and realizng they're faking drugs just by getting to know them a bit or being that perceptive. But that also comes from being already a trickster. A trickster is the one who will pick out another trickster and see what they're up to fast, because they are just already in that frame of mind, so they don't suppose it's rare, so they assume it might be the case in people, and they look for confirmation of that possibility carefully. And that I think happened wiht Trent for sure, and I'd say Courtney Love was probably another similar one, one reason why they got along when they did at least.
Actually it was in a way, a very ironic romance between Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain in the sense that the two of them were up to the same things but from totally different backgrounds and ways of getting the ideas into their heads to do it like that for fame. For Kurt, it was like a regular joe who's not a trickster type or that geeky, coming up with the most solid plan just from Ayahuasca, which is all gushy love and sweetness and not even harsh. And that's like the opposites attract thing with Courtney and Kurt. Kurt needed someone who could be on the level of his plans, which were about fame and so they were of this operative framework, and Courtney was to the level, so he went with her. Her on the other hand, she would do anything for Kurt because he was such a gushy ball love and sweetness and peace which she needed emotionally to soothe herself and her fears that she's a bad person for all this kind of fame strategy which has such a dark tone. And if she had any sensitivities, Kurt was the sensitive type to that stuff. So that was a great match.
On the other hand, Courtney and Trent were just way too much alike. Frankly, their relationshp was probably largely based on the fact that they both got so much out of knowing Kurt. But I say it like this not to make it sound like it was purely a connection just out of association and status to Kurt, you know? Cause that's not the vibe of what I think it really was. I think it's just, both of them found Kurt so healing and refreshing around these very harsh viewpoints and insights they had both learned and figured out independently the same way in their lives. Like Kurt and Trent were such a perfect example of how similar personalities sometimes come together because they have sooooooo much in common but then they can repel cause they're too much alike. Without Kurt there to be in the middle, it just wasn't sweet and gushy and sensitive enough to really work out nicely. Cause it's just, Courtney and Trent were EXACTLY THE SAME. Both suuuuuuch geek heads. They're both so totally geek out super brainiac types. That's the trip about it that they both figured out how to get famous the same harsh freaky way !! hahaha.
And so that's what I think it was with them is two people who both totally pretend to be on drugs for the sake of being famous, just being amazed with each other for having figured that out, and enjoying the fact that they could work together on that usual project with no drama about it hahaha.
Now this is my most unpopular opinion. People probably think that I'm making it up as a lie to protect their image, or just figuring it's a convenient way to smooth over the fact that I think Kurt and NIRVANA were all on Ayahuasca and planning to fake Kurt's death based on very early Ayahuasca visions and the advice of the medicine for how to become the most famous band in the world. Cause yeah you can't really take hard drugs around Ayahuasca, you have to cleanse. But like I said before, it's so much more than it looking convenient or just happy as a belief, why people don't like this one.
And about the Marilyn Manson stuff, I'm so stagnant with my art about him, you know? Like at least it's been radically rocked that I'm saying he was all deep on Iboga addiction recovery since the early days of HOLY WOOD at least, but for me to propose seriously that he was the type to fake tha the's on drugs since the star, that's just repulsive, I'm telling you, to so many people for all the reasons I've said. So that's how dishonest I kinda seem online going into Manson like a good normal fan just "Oh yeah congrats on your recovery!" like hahaha, actually I admit I don't even fuckin congratulate him at all (lol). Or maybe a little. I do congratulate Trent more cause I figure, that's his special show to help support others to recover through his great image, and obviously Manson's the same, but when I think they were never on drugs it is awkward for me to say that stuff (lol). Just because I for one, as a very different and unusual thing I'm afraid, am actually invested into the actual truth, not just what's convenient for me to think jus for chemicals to be produced in my fucking brain (lol). And I do feel alone in that most days (lol).
And this is suuuuuuch a fake. Like yeah I am good freinds with Trent's ex girlfriend Pola who is also friends with Manson today, and even with a good close friend who normally I can definitely trust to be honest with — like even with the CLOSEST SWEETIES like Leslee Lane or any of my favourites — IT'S SO AWKWARD (lol). I'm never like "Yeah fuckin right like he just RECOVERED just recently from anything" (lol). But that's what I'm thinking every fucking time! They faked teh whole thing. And I'm NOT gonna DARE to contradict Pola hahha.
But then again actually I think Pola tried to be nice to me one day I think by saying Manson was recovered for an extra year longer than he said he was on the show (lol). I think she's trying to hint at me that she can bend a LITTLE BIT on this one delicate point (lol). But I actually dn't recall exactly from her message, that's been my plan to double check, did she actually say one year more it's been than it wa? But to me that's comedy cause I think since forever it ws always elaborately faked completely with any more severe hard drugs. And this is such a joke that I'm so excited that Manson's even doing a big recovery movement now, at all, when my whole point is that it's been to the fullest on him as like an Iboga master since at least 2000 and earlier. I mean that's funny shit, I'm all "Wow, thanks Manson !! Thanks Manson for the show that it's even minorly about recovery at all compared to what I am actually trying to assert (lol)".
But like now you know, if you take this ersiously, another huge reason just why Trent and Manson got along in the old days and were very alike. I mean Manson is a genius beyond most anyone. It's freaky to know that he's just smarter than pretty much like anyone or something like that, evn probably Trent, but Trent and Pola are like the smartest ever I'd say. Pola told me, she was proud always that she was a real intellectual match for Trent, lik ebeating him at chess hahaha. I said well to beat someone at a game that stupid is not the huge medals but I must agree you are as smart as him (lol). And she can appreciate that (lol) </3.
But see, the thing about Pola is that she tells me stories that she was aware in the 90's more intimately that Trent was doing drugs and to her this was upsetting? OK yeah, let me tell you one of those. She tells me that he was going around acting all different one day like disturbingly unusually hard toned. Then he had been out and it was like "Where were you out to just now Trent?", and he's all "Shut up, it's nothing" (lol). Well he's going around in the house after that like tralala, and then a big bag of white powder falls out of like his back pocket with everyone freaking out that he's been out buying drugs — like it was like a silly way to put something big into a pocket anyway and why are things even falling out of your pocket actually??!! Like no one fuckin puts a giant bag of things into your small pocket (lol). No one (lol). We all know a pocket is a normal size obviously lol. OK so you get the picture, it's like a little dramatic, poorly done actually, play all designed for the night to trick Pola into thinking he had been out buying drugs by stuffing a bag with flour and pretending it's coke. And I'm not even exaggerating, I believe that whole heartedly that it looks to me super obvious it was.
It looks like that story is exactly : Trent was doing such a poorly acted routine right there of a definite stilted yet planned out fake play in the house to fool everyone. And so if he would even trick his own girlfriend like that, we can all see just how much he trusted her haha. Well frankly, Pola I guess, as much as she's the sweetest and the best ever, I admit at that time in her life it's wise probably not to trust her that much. She had been through a lot of hard times by then, and probably was best to leave gently without having to involve her in dififcult secrecies, cause it is a lot to ask of anyone actually. It's not like it's Pola's job to protect Trent's career and goals of fame actually. But this created such a friction of mistrust in the relationship cause that's very unfortunate then that she had to deal first hand and up close and personl with the same kinds of tricks that are being engineered totally for the masses.
Like yeah if somehow Pola had been like destined to really have a personal gain from Trent's fame and success enough that it would really represent her own personal motivation financially or otherwise, more on a calling level, to actually be bound to his secrets, then I guess they migth have married. Because without secrets of course the relationship would have gone smoother. But she was just a model, and her financial and career motivations were not rooted in the same as his at all. So why should Trent involve her actually you know? And so that's the tragedy of their relatinship is just simply, it was a regular type of relationship which it's very common not to be destined for the full marriage level was the only issue, but that one normal common issue was actually much more serious in this case only cause Trent was on a machine to stardom. So that's the classics sometimes I guess of how a star's regular issues get a bit explosively dramatic compared to usual people's.
And I tell you what. That belief about Trent, which translates out to so many other stars (and thankfully no logical need to list them all out cause this covers so much of it), is now documented iwth a time stamp. So if one day I ever get super lucky and become his friend, it's proven enough here I think that what I think about all this is JUST MY OPINION. It's nothing he's said to me in confidence. Not that I seem really like the type he would confide in. But the thing is, people jump to conclusions. People just think even just by being close friends with Trent that means now anything I say bout my opinions on Trent (and all these other stars it would be) are probably cause he whispered it to me in close chats. People wish they were in with Trent through me, if they knew I know him well. Even mildly well as a kinda close friend. So they will totally say they really get the impression that I was confididng from his secrets he told me. And I don't think that's what he would like. And neither would I, cause I deserve to take credit for my stuff. I would just hate to lose credit fo rthese genius ideas someday because people just dissingly make assumptions as if that was not my own creative opinion.
And that is Trent's birthday. Happy Birthday Trent, "congratulations on your sobriety" LOL hahahaha </3(crown).
Oh and I guess just on the off chance Trent ever reads this or this ever gets to him, I know that's a fantasy but hey whatever. I may as well say here what I need to say to Trent. Yeah to Trent, this is not the whole thing cause thi sis on the internet, but you know how I said in the letter that I think of us as BFF's 4E4?! You remember, I said it's like a spiritual experience that just spiritually we are MASSIVE BFF'S 4E4444444. OK yeah just confirming that again that it's still my experience :) I know everyone hates you but that's still my experience (lol). I'm not obligated to take on the hate from tohers, that's never been my job. I did have a difficult time after you got the letter. I know you got it and that's wonderful that you care, but something caused an evil paranormal hardcore negative experience for me and I think it was research staff exploring some of what was said, caused an evil experience. So then after that I felt so horrible and had a little emotional breakdown, a bit of a mental health downward spiral, but ony when I think of you, Trent. So I decided t stop thinking about you and that worked to make it all better.
So that was it, and I don't care if people think that I just had some unresolved internal issues about you, I'm sure it was just outside psychic negative influences. But when that happened, I distanced myself on very deep levels for a very long time. And I know if you cared, that must have seemed a bit alarming. But it was not because I was angry at you. But I did think you should have written me back. And to this day I still think it woul dbe in your best interest to act polite and just write me back something nice so that it doesn't seem weird for me to follow up with you again. Because a part of me doesn't want to write again just if you didn't write back and it was indicated then you might nto be that open in a way, then it's socially impolite for me to follow up. So if you would wish to hear how things went stright from the horse's mouth instead of guessing, you should write me back.
But actually Ayahuasca strongly advised me not to be scared and just to write you, and not een worry about it. But the thing is, I'm not supposed to just do whatever the medicine just tells me to do as if I just take orders here. It's not that simple. I had to listen also to myself and my feelings and if I felt nervous, respect that as like you know in a way all part of the puzzle in a sense. And I do believe that i fyou wrote me back first that would make you look good. It would make you look like such a sweet guy (lol). So tht's me being nice to you to give you time to be hte one to say something. But I've thought about it a lot, and I think I won't be nervous anyway and I'll just send you my nice presents the mediicne told me to send. But the thing is, I don't have the money to get that ready. So it's really just about money, that's about it. And I'm not asking you to give me money (lol). That would be weird to give me money just so you can have me give you prsents (lol). But yeah totally if you're like desperate for presents, yeah (lol). But all I mean is, don't worry about it, it's nothing personal between us, and this should be enough.
And the thing too, that evil psychic experience defintiely wore off slowly after like about a year or so progressively. It was slow, but it wore off eventually and I don't have that experience anymore. And I did have a healing which I'd lvoe to tell you about sometime. But I will say I have no problem with you at all. Oh yeah and the point I was going towards .......... I know I shouldn't have to say that BFF's 4E4 is actually forever. You know that 4E4 is real to BFF's no matter what, right? So I don't have to tell you that. That's the thing, but I'm just saying.
Like taking space from someone even though you thought it was really BFF's 4E4, I don't know if everyone in life has such a high level experience about shit like that (lol). For me, I just have some beliefs that I've developed just that certain LEVELS of BFF's in spiritual experiences, actually is because it was from such a deeper level that it would never break. I know that's your case in your case.
Oh yeah and one more thing too I wanted to say as well. Also Trent, if you get this message, I really want to tell you that my very special friend Keely Estée @keelyestee on Facebook, is the coolest person ever. She's a huge fan of yours and Ayahuasca told me that she is my best friend, just like you, but she has not been able to cinfirm that as true. I told her the vision, and she couldn't say she can say it back that we're actually best friends. However, she of COURSE confirms that we are FRIENDS, and you can tell the vibe is BFF's though (lol). And I think actually that's a great reflection of you and me. It's at least the vibe for sure is BFF's even if that can't be confirmed outside of hyper-visionary spaces. Maybe you feel tha ton some level, maybe you don't. But regardless, I have to tell you, it's so locked in that I know Keely is such a cool friend of mine that you should consider as such a cool person. I mean also, you'd LOOOOOVE her husband Jefe, but I must advise that this is actually about Keely. As true as it is that you would freak if you knew about Jefe (lol).
Like Trent, if you don't like that Pola is my friend, then let me tell you WHAT YOU DO FUCKING LIKE. You LOOOOOOOOVE that Keely is my friend (lol). I know you're going to want to play the game like "She's not even that good of a friend iwth Pola anyway" haha, no no yeah — please — I know thi sis your style. Go like "OK well Ayahuasca siad that Keely is the real best friend and Ayahuasca NEVER said Pola's her BEST friend so forget all this big deal abotu Pola then, no matter how well she played things out with Ayahuasca". GO for it if you like that as much as I guess you will. Because it's very honest, Ayahuasca never did call Pola my BEST friend. She called YOU my best friend, and she called Keely my best friend. Or "they" as I like to call Ayahusca actually. And defintely for a more current, TODAY picture of Trent, what he's like, I'd definitely say BIGGGGG TIME that Keely (and Jefe) are way more your type to get along with than Pola, an dwe all know you've changed. So if you've changed like you wouldln't even get along with Pola today, then take Keely for sure as the bizness.
And I must say though, you HAVE to learn how to be nicer to Pola, I think. Now it's none of my business, and I get that, but if you could be a little nicer to her, that would be so nice, that's all I'm saying. She's not as bad as she seems. She's really not as mean as she sounds. But OK OK, it's none of my business.
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