As anyone who knows me well would have guessed by this point, I get a lot of vibes from the stars (the media, favourite artists and stuff). Over the years since I discovered the media like in 2018 or so, and was having lots of dreams and experiences about my favourite stars, vibes were deep. And there’s something so beautiful about that which I feel called to share.
The overarching theme has been that the vibes from them are usually very similar to the deepest superfans I see out there of stars. I mean highest level hyper true-fan superfan appreciation and reverence / respect vibes. Really pouringly adoring over every little thing — really resistent against negative interpretations of things. Defensive, empowered, honoured, inspired to the core < ].
It took me a very long time to pinpoint this but I finally recognized that it seems to make sense that they would be projecting that kind of energy when they themselves receive it so much from their best fans and in some ways they may have been conditioned by it. I feel one reason why stardom tends to start escalating and stabilizing into the longterm is because of this experience with deepcore fan community.
The thing is, this has been incredibly good for me as an artist. Obviously it’s good for self-esteem, but artistically I feel I’ve improved so well by getting these energetic waves of insight into how good my work actually is, despite any critique that might be out there. For example, things that used to get totally pissed on about what I offer online, I still believed in (which of course gave me the courage to keep creating).
And this was thanks to these powerful insights vibing in from stars about how good it is despite any way that the average viewer might fail to recognize the depth, and how haters gonna hate, basically as a rule of nature. Critique in the negative can have its value and there’s no question, a balanced individual needs to contemplate those issues — but it seems my spirit would have been broken without this huge added layer of support which basically pissed on it back when I was being pissed on (lol).
For a long time I wondered if this was somehow just the family of light and God just doing this whole entire routine as if they are stars vibing to me mysteriously from the ethers — because the quality was so healing and so establishing of resilience in mental health and creative empowerment. Like it seemed almost too divine to believe it was really just stars, sometimes. But I’ve definitely settled on it that it’s the vibes of stars. It took a long time to accept and fully understand that, but I’m sure.
The vibe is like coming out as seemingly from leaders in trend-setting. I feel like I’m being pictured as someone who could set trends for the masses with great prowess, coming from wisdom of experience from those who are the expert on how those things are done. It’s making me literally superstitous that I’m destined to one day be famous.
I’ve thought a lot about the dream of fame. I think, in a nutshell, money and certain types of agency would solve my problems in some extreme ways which are not to be downplayed. However, stress and emotional discomfort, feelings of dissatisfaction etc would probably remain about the same, aside from certain normal types of healing progression which will probably always be escalating and evolving in my life. In other words, I’d be just as miserable when famous as I am now (lol) — so I shouldn’t be anchored to wishes of a promising future, but remain here and now.
That said, I think back to when I was homeless, and I know that there’s no ifs ands or buts about it that now, with a reasonable income, is infinitely better than then. Wishful hopes of a future not being homeless was very right on for that time, sadly. So that idea that wishful futures make no sense is not entirely solid. For example, there was a long year or two in which I had no shower access normally when homeless, and I believe in it that some basic human needs, when met, are totally wrong to not just obsess over needing to get.
But there’s a limit to how much escalating wealth is wise to hold as like that deep of an obsession. I think some things are comparable to that hardcore place for me right now, and some escalation for me would be valid as a desperate need even now — but thankfully it’s nowhere near as bad as it was. It’s like, yeah never give up on your dreams, but not from that assumption that it will actually remove just dissappointments and ups and downs in life, which are inescapable for even the rich.
They say “Don’t meet your heros. Fame has destroyed that star. That person has no connection to reality now that they live in an ego trap full time with no escape in sight”. To that I do say, that’s the same kind of pessimism that people hold against the poor. I just think there’s always a critique of any person, and it’s not about focusing on the negative. Also, dont’ get me started on how much people like to soothe thier insecurities by projecting negative views onto the rich and famous — due to jealousy.
Like no yeah — I’m thoroughly aware that fame comes with some major responsibilities and situations that I wouldn’t want. I understand that the levity of wealth and freedom that it provides is sometimes like a bandaid for the amount of hate and bullshit that now comes with it all. That old addage “Fame is not all it’s cracked up to be” or even wealth too — that’s right in some ways. I’m enjoying the lack of responsibility that I have now, the privacy and the ease, that does come with not being famous.
And I conclude by saying, lately when I was writing this new UNITY LIFE Archive about the new 30 Seconds To Mars song God’s Eye, a shadow came over me when researching more into the lyrics of “The Man Who Sold the World” by David Bowie, which was covered by NIRVANA and Kurt Cobain. That song is seriously hardcore when you think that it’s a type of lamenting done by The 27 Club, which for me includes Bowie even though he transitioned at a later age.
Just I’m sorry I can’t wirte it all out to explain here quickly, but it’s about the idea that fame sucks, like as some inescapable evil trap which will destroy a person, just horrifyingly eroding and dissocating them from reality. And that’s not what I think Kurt was trying to say at all but that’s what everyone imagines he meant — plus they get that from Bowie. And it’s just disturbing to not believe in that but think that’s what everyone thinks. I’ll just leave it at that (lol) — sometimes The 27 Club is so dark (lol).
Love, Ba
🕊
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