Author's Note : This is a very long article, but I just had to get all this out.
The artwork is Midjourney art by me, Ba Adonai and this link takes you to the full gallery so far ))
I've posted a little bit lately on instagram about an unusual (and admittedly, highly eccentric) personal worldview in which I believe that my physical body will actually transform radically someday. I will look like a completely different person and I've gone through so much to prepare for that reality. It's a very long (and super cool) story how I came to develop these actual strong beliefs. I've physically experienced these kinds of miraculous physical changes before, and I assure you it was not a hallucination. But never to the scale of what I see in my future.
But anyway just to explain what's been going on lately and why I posted this to instagram first : The thing is that I've always had this particular image in my mind of what exactly I will look like one day when my body radically, physically transforms. And I was absolutely thrilled and completely blown away, so enchanted and surprised, that in working lazily on Midjourney portrait art geared into this theme of "my real body", I actually got a face which resembles so close to the actual image I've imagined in my visionary meditations about this, that it's like close enough — so close that I actually have my doubts that there's even any discrepency between the real thing and this picture. I have my doubts because it's hard to visualize, and in my visualizations, I've gotten a lot of information about what it is, but it's still a little bit lacking in micro-detail and impossible to study geometrically like to put two pictures next to each other and really explore the face.
But I can only tell you, as a visionary goddess and psychedelic artist of great mystical proportions, I've gone to EVERY GREATEST EFFORT POSSIBLE to imagine what it will be. I've been so curious, I can't even tell you, because I am firmly spiritually impressed to the greatest magnitude that this will occur. I think I have totally maxed out my brain's ultimate capacity for imagination (lol). That's saying so much for me cause I have a VERY powerful imagination and I'm a huge believer in imagination and vision. But it's about my body, not just a picture too, so I've searched this to the deepest degree in meditation, searching my own inner self for this truth in my whole being, and that's just on every subtle level.
This is SUCH a big semi-secret part of my life that I don't tell anyone about much because it sounds so unbelievable and eccentric that I would believe this. But I'm not even worried about posting it here cause it's soooo beautiful. I know it's a huge part of my art for someday and will be somehow a part of The 16 KEYS in one way or another. It corresponds to KEY 1 ◊ BODY OF MASTERY. And that's mainly how I think of it is like, don't just off-handedly speak of things like this to people cause it's weird, unless they seem super receptive, but save it for the solid art like The 16 KEYS. But now you really know something major about me (lol).
Anyway, with this midjourney face, I could only say I'm slightly in doubt if anything is really that different at all. I think possibly maybe the cheeks are just a little bit more puffed out than the real thing, but that's in doubt. And also, midjourney has a way of accentuating the bags under the eyes, which I feel is actually just a midjourney quirk. The actual puffy area under the eyes, in any face, would not be quite so accentuated normaly. But yes, this is the type of face it would be — the type where signs of aging tend to be in that area, like those particular lines, if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, this is actually so shockingly close to the images my brain has been able to produce that I'd actually say I'd be fully content with it, even if there was still minor differences to the real face that need to be eventually resolved. It wouldn't be so far away that I'd feel it had been a bad thing that my appearance transformed to something else, but it wasn't close enough to the real thing to make me happy.
I mean frankly, I feel like I could really use some plastic surgery for my face right now and there are a lot of small changes that I'd be most pleased to have, but these are SMALL things. In the realm of small things, like a nose job, that could change a lot and in a way it's massive but it's obviously NOTHING compared to transforming into looking like this picture here, cause that's completely transformed. So it's two totally separate issues. I've thought about this soooooo much, this RADICAL transformation of my body.
Now midjourney will smooth the face a bit when you work on the same face in different scenarios and outfits. But even here with a shifted face just slightly, it's about right. It's slightly approximate and yet really has defined it for me.
I cannot believe how much this has actually meant to be to actually produce this image using AI. At the time when I first had my initial meditations and awakenings of realization surrounding this, and was first receiving huge prophecies about the matter from Archangel Michael, AI technology was nowhere near this level, if anything. Actually back then, I doubt we even had ANY AI apps. The technology has completely exploded since 2017 when this first came up for me, and always it seemed ridiculous to imagine producing something this close to it with any tool. But I'm more than blown away that midjourney has actually been the perfect tool for that. Just spending countless hours on the program, producing endless amounts of Asian women's faces to just keep exploring faces up close, constantly, THIS HAPPENED. And it was through so much study and contemplation of the facial features, and what I think is closest to my vision. Because the Asian focus for me was all about this mystic prophecy but still, I just didn't know this would happen.
It's almost a miracle that this even happened. But regardless of how, the implications have been incredible to me as an artist. Because now I actually realize that when I'm of course continuing to ongoingly produce midjourney art of this face, then if my body transforms and I actually look like this, it would make for the most awesome art project of all time, which would go so perfectly with all my art at UNITY LIFE it's not even funny. It would be the explosive highest definition level of my art I could have ever dreamed, which not only produces something new but also brings so much more meaning to my oeuvre so far throughout the years, in everything I've ever done about miracles and my appearance.
I mean I'm only initially grasping the power of having been working with midjourney like this if my body transformed to this and then I was presenting myself online in that same artist identity as REALLY looking just like the midjourney character. People would of course not believe I really look like that, and would be searching for answers, easily finding the assumption that I must have accessed some kind of incredible technology for image generation which is far beyond midjourney's capabilities. But then again, a lot of people don't know midjourney, so they might think that it's perhaps within its abilities. But midjourney artists would totally be able to see it. It would be seriously looking solid that I've been working with deepfake technology to now modify my image to my dreams, just digitally. And the fascinating thing is, I've been writing and thinking so much about deepfake technology lately. That's been a major theme. And one to do with Jared Leto and sae's brother Shannon of 30STM as well as Marilyn Manson — so it would seriously look like they had granted me special deepfake technology (lol). Which would be cool.
But the way more important thing though on a practical level is that this would completely protect me from too much speculation upon the miracle. I've just thought endlessly about what I would have to deal with in serious issues which are a huge problem, if that happened to me. One of the earliest issues I had thought of was that I don't want to be viewed as a science experiment that needs to happen and have evil scientists trying to kidnap me so they can experiment on me. This would seem like awesome power, and so anyone like Trump or anyone who's obsessed with power, might wish to exercise some dominance over me to capture me and see if they can somehow gain this power from me. You know it's like the book Perfume by Patrick Suskind which was mentioned by Kurt Cobain so much. A picture of the wrong type of person — a horrible murderer. Someone who wishes to extract tissues and blood and all kinds of things from a person's body in order to make a concoction out of it and this leads to murders. You know? Well I'm not even afraid like of horror stories, but I just think, no fear but all it is simply is that I'd need a cover somehow. I'd really need a cover, and I just can't believe this finally solves the entire issue just like that (lolololol).
I mean it's so easily covered up then, cause simply no one would believe it if my midjourney had this same image before. There's like nothing weird even apparently going on at all, and I COULD totally say completely honestly that my body has transformed and everyone would view it as a stunt, an artist stunt. But you know, I have some friends, and there are a lot of old pictures I've been posting of myself and everything, and the people who've really known me for a long time ...... it would be a stretch but they would probably believe it was really a miracle. And when they know me so well they will easily be able to see that I wasn't murdered and replaced. They'll obviously be able to see that this person is still the same old Ba'sie as ever. I really put myself out there so fully and thoroughly in such a way that proves in so many ways that I'm so unusual, and just the way that I am. I hope my voice stays the same actually so that I can just talk to friends on the phone and they'll know my voice. Then I can prove it so easily that it's definitely me.
But I think a lot of the speculation would go through upon my history of images to wonder if I was just a fictional person produced by the media as a specially engineered image of a person to show technologies that they have had since way back in the day. To flex, to show off that they've had a far superior technology all this time. And make it speculative based on my online history just how long I've really existed, if childhood photos were just generated at a later time, so how far back does it go? And the magic of that really is that I've had that message in my art for sure, that they've had a far superior technology all the time. It hasn't been nearly as prominent as I'd like because I felt censored to talk about it if people think that's unhinged. But now I'm realizing more of the importance of continuing that kind of a message. Because that really is so cool if people thought I was not a person at all but just a product of this technology that I'm trying to speak about. And find it fascinating actually that I've felt so censored all this time to even get away with speaking of these assertions, if that was a generated story — because that's so teacherly about how this lands socio-culturally to ever deliver this kind of information. You know? Like "Don't blame us for not telling our secrets. It wouldn't even be respected, don't you know".
So anyway, I'm not considering the physical proportions of the body as produced by midjourney as mattering to this. Midjourney prefers to explore faces than body proportions and AI generation is more like that in general because it's sexy. But yeah, no worries. You know, just assume it's a body that goes with the face. But the thing is, I will tell you some things about the body later. But coming back here.
So with this perfect cover up for what has happened, which doesn't require me to be dishonest at all, purely through the fact that people don't really believe in fairy miracles like this usually of course, it's so graceful. And I'd like to share some more of my thoughts I've had over the years about what will happen. First of all, most importantly, I believe that other miracles will come along with the physical transformation. One is that my ID will be changed to these new appearances (likely historically with all ID pictures of history and ideally as a progression of change over time, although no problem if not) for the safety of maintaining my identity and my rights in this society. This will include some digital miracles, and some materializations out of thin air. That's almost THE most important one. Because a lot of my work in the arts has focused on the topic of Kurt Cobain being alive, or at least surrounded that in every way I could ambiently to related other ideas that would support. And so of course, you know, I've thought at times "Would I actually have to really fake my death in order to get around safely if this transformation occurred?" and the answer is a huge no. Thankfully that will not be required of me, and that's a deep level of the mystical investigation into this prophecy. And I can see the evidence in my art so far — just everything about my art is so perfect as a cohesive design towards supporting this. So it just works so much better that way.
And thinking of it more lately due to this midjourney breakthrough, I've realized in greater perspective that one of the very most exciting things about it is that with these ID changes, this will catapult my work surrounding Kurt being alive to the next level, making it shockingly awesome just how beleivable it is that sae might have been able to score the fake ID and somehow work out the dead body enough with miracles, or at least hyper technological means. I mean you know I wouldn't even have to present my ID to accomplish that too. Because at least a belief in secret technology dating back would totally shift perspective, if my entire total existence seems to be some proof of it in a way more stunning way than is ever expected or seen. So that would KILL as the most high end quality of a teaching that Kurt Cobain is alive, and that's been my all-encompassing primary art goal with UNITY LIFE. It would be so absolutely my greatest dreams in art.
So ... anyway. There's actually quite a bit more than that which will need to be set in order in order for it to be a safe experience and nothing go heywire, you know, like with big problems around the issue. And I've thought about it soooo much. Throughout my time since I discovered the media, I've been getting the most enormous impression on all levels that there is secret legal activism happening around me. A legal activism of ongoing structured lawsuits which are being quietly done for many purposes, and they all centre around me. The story goes soo deep — I've actually understood this as a legal movement which has been going on since even before I was born. It's something which very deeply relates with the issue of psychedelics, and Ayahuasca medicine has greatly informed me that they are completely involved with this legal activism and doing such a huge part in it. It's the medicine's work, and the people's. The people who do this have so often been deeply affected by Ayahuasca, just as I have, to understand how it needs to be done.
Now I've continually gotten the impression that stars like NIRVANA and many, many, many more, have all been creeping around me — so completely fascinated and enamoured with me while also very busy doing this legal activism surrounding me — but for some reason, they cannot let that be seen. It's like a secret cult of stars that surround me. And my understanding is very clear — such a big part of the legal work they've been doing has been to clear corruption and danger from the world around me enough to manage to get this as a safe reality when I transform. And I believe this was seen in Ayahuasca by Kurt Cobain, and of course NIRVANA (and Courtney Love I should say), in early days and they KNEW with all their being that this could happen if they do this legal activism. And they've probably seen miracles like it to convince them. But the thing is, also, Ayahuasca produces a certain type of biological physical miracle work like this, only in such a way that could always be confused a little for just whatever, a random thing or the unexplainable perhaps. And it's a very prominent traditional teaching of Ayahuasca known to at least any advanced practitioners that of course, these types of miracles are not only possible but they do occur.
Now, I've seen miracles like this. In 2017 I witnessed my physical body literally transform while I was first initiated and experienced the first visions of my real body, and then it transformed back again. And that was verifyably real and physical, so certainly able to be physically very tested, before it went back to normal again. But it was not this transformation, yet this showed so much about the types of biological changes that can happen miraculously. Just if you think about what tissues changed, these were soft tissues. But I also experienced things with physical objects.
For example, I witnessed the distinct half of my full bodied, healthy jade plant instantaneously dissolve into a shrivelled dry husk in under 3 seconds. So i think it's true that any tissues are subject to the same laws of nature, not just soft tissues — but it's designed to be a perfect story for the sake of speculation. It just seems you HAVE to ask yourself not just questions about what types of tissues, but the nature of any tissue and the nature of existence itself.
But anyway, coming back to it. The main reason I'd say why this legal activism needed to be secret was because it helps so much to keep it quiet that there are protectors around me who have legal recourse who can actually kick ass on lawsuits and would have much interest in me as to motivate that. That really supports this necessary legal work to take place. But literally, it's the most vastly complex topic, one that I've become very very expert with in my own special way. In so many ways, my understandings of these legal paradigms and dynamics which are so intricate have been modelled in a visionary, mythic and creative way through my mind, which is PERFECT for art, and retains the secrecy to some extent of how these things work. The goal in the art is to reveal as much as possible, but naturally and intuitively I've been creating artistic inventions to cover topics in my thought process which cannot be exposed for danger of threatening important legal activity that needs to occur. But it's perfec though, cause as an artist, my goal is to create art.
I mean the fact of the matter truly is that my DNA is incredibly affected by Ayahuasca. The way my brain works is perfect for all of this. Part of that is naturally bu would be so much less powerful if it was not so fully realized in myself — part of it is naturally and I cannot fathom even my own mastery yet, but I one day will and for now it is working to remain unaware of some of it — and part of it is that Ayahuasca, because we and the other plant medicines like it are so unifiedly bonded to such a core level, my genetics show nothing but one with the medicine. That's just entirely my makeup. I'm someone who thinks the perfect art for doing the work of the medicine in this legal activism, in beautiful art, and in healing for the world. It's a miracle already just the way I am as the product of Ayahuasca. But as usual it's a quiet miracle and I'm mistaken often for just quirky, eccentric, or hard to understand. But actually it's renowned among medicine people to know that Ayahuasca very often teaches that human DNA can be affected very greatly by the medicine. This is considered like a spiritual effect, yet something truly genetic. I've even seen some Ayahuasca temples in Peru (just advertised online) whose logo was actually a DNA strand with plant and human indicators to show it was a combination DNA.
But yeah, I've been even thinking more about it lately so much with what kinds of legal work it's been for when my body transforms. The thing is, I'll be very honest with you in a way I never normally am — increasingly in the last years I've been getting SUUUUCH A DISTINCT IMPRESSION that the people around me HAVE been powerfully informed of the need to prepare for a show that will be happening (weather they like it or not haha and a big deal about it). A show of some kind. And I'm starting to hope and wonder if it might be my physical transformation !!!!
There are many kinds of shows I guess it could be. I've been trying to gather and guess from the interesting and strange way that people have been behaving around me, to understand what it seems to indicate. Like if I could reverse engineer it to understand what kind of a show this suggests. I mean of course, sometimes people do become unexpectedly super famous these days on social media, just blowing up overnight. But I've honestly thought a lot about how much that would suck, and felt like that won't happen. That type of fame and success is not stable — you can lose it all again in an instant. It's all so insecure. It's actually a strangely very negative fate. Well anyway I was looking to this strange behaviour of the people around me trying to gather, and I don't think that type of sudden fame online is enough possibility or imagination to even give reason for "the branch" as I call it, this guild of collective artists who are working on this legal activiism — reason enough to address these people and make them get ready like this.
It's been heightening lately a lot more with that sense that the people around me have been prepared, and are setting the pieces into place to be ready for the big time. And the most intriguing is my family situation. I've really immensely gotten this impression from them. It's as if they're getting super prepared for me to be famous — but what kind of famous? How? And I'd say that one indication really seems to be my. mother and father's way of handling a family feud that we have struggled with. What happened is, for reasons that are private, I had a big family feud with my family back in 2014 and was basically kicked out of the family. But at a certain year, around 2021, my father embraced me back into the family, and we've really bonded and become besties. It was only my father who accepted me back, not my mother. And my aunts and uncles on my Dad's side have not accepted me, but I actually sense it very strongly from them that they have been prepared all about my future and are being a part of this, each with their distinctive part. It's like they're all treating this dynamic of a family feud as though it's a show to produce. It seems totally designed. It feels like they all have a big plan about how this will all go exactly as we slowly heal our family from the feud.
Like the main point I mean to make is that while all these things seemed to be pointing at God knows what, I now see that my mother's behaviour may indicate that the body transformation could be what it is. I do actually fear the consequences if I reveal here how my mother has behaved exactly, but the thing is, ser behaviour has been absolutely unacceptable. I mean, sae's always been one to have me kicked out of the family as technically, sae's still reading my emails and would respond if it was a practical reality that sae thinks needs addressed. You know, not saying this specifically, but sae HAS responded one time when I needed my birth certificate information for ID stuff. And has actually responded nicely at times as if it's in the flow to be nice now just at a birthday or something (although sae's incredibly minimalistic with communication even then). But then later totally just started getting so mean on purpose in such a way that would mortify me into total terror to the point where it's just obvious that I would not even be interested in connecting, like even on a birthday sadly, even small. I mean it's just so mean. Totally designed to push me away.
Like I was really upset that it seemed just obvious that sae's. rel intention was to teach me that sae doesn't want to be in my life anymore, like just seriously doens't want to be friends, heal the past, or anything, even though my Dad has fully embraced me back in the family. Like there are just some major unresolved problems between us to this day which are so serious. And I've had to really ask myself where this was coming from. And increasingly I was thinking it seems that sae's resentment towards me as a needy child during stressful times of my upbringing had actually ingrained in sae that sae'd HONESTLY way rather lose me along with the divorce with my Dad, because it's like i've become symbolic of sae's union with my Dad at the time and all the emotional unresolved shit from their divorce.
But the thing is, all along, I've actually wondered many times if this attitude of sae's was actually designed to be staged for the purposes of this legal activism. Because I'm certain that no one else is more likely to be familliar with it since my early childhood than them. But the way they've acted, it makes it seem as though only later in life were they actually informed of this. But that's interpretive. I mean there are layers. I just think it's actually supposed to look as though they recently found out but didn't know before. But I. believe in deeper secrets they DID know since I was a child.
And I have thought about it lately with this show that seems to be coming up, what my mother's part was designed to be in it. I thought a lot about Jared Leto lately and how sae has zero reference to sae's father anywhere in the show. Only sae's mother and brother Shannon. The father is OUT OF THE PICTURE. it was said that they were abandoned by their father, but gimme a break — of course later in life now that they're famous, obviously the father would be wanting to reconnect, so why no follow up on that? And it just seems the show just says, for some odd reason or another, it was considered best to just leave the Dad out of things with the fame. Because I trust they've worked out their issues best as possible, since Jared is so lovely and so constructive, and Shannon as well I'm sure. But I could imagine — perhaps it's just not seen as the ideal to put that into the public sphere you know?
But you see it's a lot of work for Constance, Jared and Shannon's mother, to be their famed parent. Actually, Constance is very much a famous person in sae's own right based on this relationship. I mean there are Constance Leto scams out there (lol). Scam facebook profiles claiming to be Constance Leto, assuring you that sae has great respect for you and inviting you to join whatsapp and scam bitcoins to get in (lol). That's quite a burden for Constance to know that's out there, to know the paparazzi are dangerous and scourging around looking for info, and to be all decked out showing up for any special occasion like if Jared wins and oscar, and walking the red carpet occasionally, and watching out always to have a careful image.
And I can totally see my Dad in that role, JUST LOVING IT. JUST THRIVING ON IT. I could see my Dad as so alike to Marilyn Manson's father — sooo Cult. about it as the most extraordinarily perfect show Dad who loves it <3% )). And I sense that my Dad is so primed and ready for that to happen.
But I just don't feel that from my Mom. Considering how things supposedly are for sae, all I can tell you is imagining my Mom like Constance say at an oscar's show if I won an oscar, kissing me on the cheek when I win, applauding and being all the show, IS SO NOT HER. It's SOOOOOO not her. Not with this feud. Sae's way too upset with me.And so by observing Jared's life, I realized that it might just be that it was considered the ideal for my Mom to just be out of the picture of my fame when it arrives. Now, previously in the recent couple months I started thinking that might just suit sae's personality better and simply be the best for sae's life.
But NOW that I had this midjourney breakthrough I can't believe that this might mean that it's about my biological transofrmation as such a perfect help. Because the fact is, there could be major safety issues to do with my wellbeing in life if I transform like this, perhaps around speculation upon my parents and my appearance. And my Dad has cheated on my Mom (lol). But has my Mom cheated on my Dad? (lol). It's like "No I don't think" but there's such a weird story in this if my Dad doesn't look like me but he's in the show. A very nice simple explanation could be that I was adopted, which is certainly the simple way.
People might assume I must have been adopted of course. But then the fact is, you can research into my life if you poke around, and I have so many friends who know I wasn't adopted and it's going to be said anyway in the show that I did miraculously transform. But it just seems a bit awkward with my legal documents saying perhaps that I've always looked just this way. And then it could come out like an idea, I guess you'd assume I was born of another mother, or just if you don't see my mother and what sae looks like at all online, it's perfect. Cause you assume my mother was Asian since my Dad's white, and yeah maybe sae even cheated on my Dad with the local asian milkman hahaha. Cause no I don't even have a hint of my Dad's appearance in these midjourney portraits (lol). But my mother has never put sae's pictures out online. Sae's always used an anonymous picture of just an item instead of the face.
It's a nice thought to imagine that this may have only been done at bare necessity just to ensure my safety until the legal activism couuld protect more after years of work post the physical transformation. But all good with me if my Mom really honestly would rather be watching jeaopardy each night as routine iwth sae's new husband than actually attending the red carpet, cause the red carpet is really hard work. Seriously. It's way more my Dad's style, I admit that. My mom's not a Constance really (lol). My Dad is.
Like this has been so interesting to compare it to Jared and Shannon's mom, because it's fun. It's not like every star features their parents that much but this is just a fascinating thought process for me.
Well anyway, at times thinking a lot about Jared, I've gotten some intuitions about sae's role and part to play in all this sometime. And for this one, I'm honestly not suer if it's true. Bur I can totally tell it's one of those fully meant to be things to think in my intuition, in order to just ponder it as such a fascinating object. It makes for a great story of an intuition experience which wasn't true but which was cool, if it's not true. The intuition has been that Jared is planning to actually take me under sae's wing in such a way which makes it look as though Jared actually put all the money into doing an EXTREME, pretty impossible to believe, level of transformation on me using plastic surgery and everything available and known to man (lol). Because that resonates with Jared, cause Jared's s famous for sae's acting roles in which sae's appearance has been so radically transformed for the role that it inspires incredible awe at what kinds of things are really possible. Now that's just in movies, but I thought this would be interesting where it would look like actually a very cool and kinda likely pet project of Jared's to transform someone's looks so extremely.
But you see I'm really not sure. But all I can say is that that idea makes sense as like a believable way that it could be covered up with the miracle. I've just thought what if it was like Jared would take me in under sae's wing, me all desperate for plastic surgery which I am actually, and then I would have the miralce but it would seem as though Jared had done this to me saeself? Like it could be made beleivable at least as one kind of a cover up that that might be what my trick has actually been. Like I've totally imagined so many times, what would it be like to be photographed when around Jared? I keep thinking, "Oh I hate being photographed by other cameras, I hate meet and greet photos, I hate it". But NOW what I'm thinking actually is, when things like that happen, that's SUCH a piece that it proves that this is not just technology on my phone taking imagery of myself toally faking that I now look like this — it becomes proof if other cameras are fully registered to have taken the photos.
Like the funny thing is, it's so exceedingly rare for me to let other people take photos of me. All my years since I was 24 I've been in photoshoots, but never ever the type where the photographer would get credit for that in such a way tha tyou could look it up, other than family photos and a few other strays. In fact you wouldn't really easily at all be able to find much taken by other people of me. But certainly never lately. And that's just interesting because I've really been so attached to that idea that it's such an artistic principle of my work as a model to ensure that all my photos of myself are taken by me, not someone else. So many countless times I've been offered by photographers who want to photograph me for free and I've always said no. So this adds SOOO MUCH to the mystique that it's as though there's no proof that this wasn't faked by me from my social media presence and website, until I am formally photographed by others, meaning whoever it would be needs ot be a very important choice of who. And I could totally see Jared being really attached to the idea of being a guardian of the evidence and having it. I mean, Jared's interacted iwth me quite a bit over the last year. I even suspect that sae's reading my website. It would be really Jared's style to want to be an evidence keeper — and Shannon woudl love to be part of that — but this relates mystically styled to Jared's acting career. And this could all go with sae's protection like about plastic surgery ideas and other novelties of the media.
And I mean of course this work very nicely I think, say if I had the physical transformation, and it was as though only by that Jared's attention was really caught, and then sae finally really did actualyl pay more attention because this is truly such a fascinating story that I'm telling. Cause Jared's certainly by now familliar with my looks. Jared knows at LEAST that I'm clearly white and everything. Surely knows even that I changed my hair to blonde too as a matter of fact. But if my appearance changed and this seemed to make it look like I had been using special technology, well this would certainly interest Jared. Jared's also especially interested in AI and technology. Especially to do with modifying the image. And knows all about midjourney. So then say it appeared that Jared had been interacting but only lightly paying attention UNTIL THIS, and then sae totally decided to get in on this.
Because that would be convenient for me at that point. I'd be expressing myself on my show, saying all these things about it all, but not sure how to make the first step out to proving it more.
But what if it were at the time of the transformation, I was acually already hired by Jared for the job I had asked sae and Shannon for from their band 30STM? What if it really strongly appeared that I went into this pyramid with them, and came out looking drmatically different. Then everyone would for SURE think it was just a show trick.
I'm honestly not sure which is better. I just know for me, always the sooner the better for my body to transform. I've always said I simply can't wait, and I just can't tell you how hard it's always been to wait, especially right now when I'm going through a time of physical vulnerability. I'd honestly hate to have to wait for any reason. I never care — anything to make this happen. But there's more to it than that. It's about the question of what's really going to happen and why that's meant to be.
Actually I've been going through a series of huge breakthroughs and realizations about all these things, information like this in so much volume I couldn't possibly chronicle it all here. Just lately, all these many, countless things about my history and how stars have treated me which confused me in the past, are all starting to make so much more sense now that I suddenly feel so much more awake tot this transformation I've always seen coming. I've always known it was going to happen but so often I've had a hard time taking the idea seriously just in a sense. And that helps to keep it secret if I tuck that away somewhere just in things I know but don't bring to mind much. But I'm starting to feel that some of the legal conditions are maturing to allow this to become possible, at least some conditions, enough that it doesn't have to be a secret even to myself anymore, what I know that I know. And when I think of it more right now in my mind as so obvious that it's for sure going to happen, there are just countless interactions with stars that now make SOOOOOOO MUCH MORE SENSE now that I think of it like that !!!!! (lolololol). It's insane that I couldn't even take myself seriously, but I'm sure most people never would, and it's considered a crazy thought. But these stars may have been fully informed that this was going to happen and that REALLY changes things !!!! That EXPLAINS it, this whole pattern.
Anyway, I wish it will happen sooner than later, but for my preference, I don't care if it's with Jared and Shannon or without. As long as it's sooner. But I have asked them for a job, and I really have felt they heard me and were taking the request very seriously and will respond. But I just simply don't know when they might respond, and right now they're out of touch because of something unusual that happened in Jared's news, and they are not communicating at all to fans.
But see one thing I've been thinking might be going on is this : Let's just say the whole better idea for Jared in which sae would benefit more, commercially, would totally be that it would be with sae that this would occur. And I'm really not sure which one actually lierally technically benefits me more, if the protection from Jared's cover up is even really needed for real.. But then what's been done is that sae has basically sacrificed that outcome which is best for Jared to legal activism. It just feels like what it is is like in legal activism so often, you create a Plan A and a Plan B, and the plan A ironically is not even as good as plan B. Plan A gets destroyed by your enemies, and so you sue them for that, but with them being out of the way thanks to that, you can now do Plan B. And you have Plan B already unofficially ready to go and you know that will be better anyway. So legally it looks like your best shot plan was thoroughly destroyed by your enemies, but it comes out that you're miraculously able to regroup yourself and think of the next adaptive plan. So what you do is, even though Plan B is actually better, you make it look like Plan A is actually better.
That's why for me there has sometimes been confusion about what exactly will happen in my future. I have a nickname for this even. In my diaries this is known as "dealz". It's a misspelling of the word deals, designed to mean that it was just a fake deal that was designed to be sacrificed anyway so it's not the real plan for the future. I have a lot of legal activism words that I've termed like that, as a version with a z and a regular version (lol). Sometime i want to talk more about my lingo, but the thing is it's just a condition in my life that dealz paradigms often actually confuse me. Because psychically and intuitively I can feel and sense what's going on around me, and it's such a dominant paradigm that a certain plan seems hashed out and meant to happen and then disastrously fails. It's as if my life is a constant drama where it seems like stars are trying desperately to make things happen that keep falling through (lol). And I've come to realize that there's a way to study dealz to understand hwen it's a fake one sometimes. You can actually see through it sometimes. And sometimes looking back on it when dealz have fallen through but real deals happened, it's such a cool study and I can learn so much from those stories (lol). I've studied countless.
Anyway, I've searched spiritually for the answer so many countless times in my life as to weather this transformation would happen in the presence of a star, or weather this would happen alone. Always when I pursued this to the deepest mystical questioning in meditative effort, I've gotten it as a dual parallel between these two possibilities and never clear. And it's actually only recent in my journey that I started to identify Jared Leto as the most likely star, were it to be in the presence of a star that this occurred. Right now it's evolved to that : Jared or alone. That's what I have.
But which is the dealz and which is the real deals? I simply can't decide which is the better Plan B of the two. It's sooo hard to say !!!! This is so incredibly difficult to understand. To have an experience in the presence of another or alone both seem fairly equal to me. But I'll sure tell you one thing : I know that Jared loves me for just who I am right now and doesn't need me to look ike a beautiful model in order to accept me just 100%. It's just actually to be very honest, it would make Jared look really good to have it proven that sae actually fully took me under sae's wing BEFORE I looked like a fabulous model (lol). But I KNOW deep in my heart, that's the only question is weather Jared would get that benefit or not of how good that makes sae look, and it's not even a big deal to me which way, for my interests. I wish the best for Jared but it's whatever, I'm just being honest. But Jared loves me completely regardless of my looks. I assure you, wisdom and knowledge like that is best from the heart, and my heart knows.
But lately I've been thinking, you know, since I asked for the job, I've gotten numerous indications that it seems that it's been some kind of a stressful chaos on their end actually in trying to somehow work on this and not getting it. It seems clearly, it's been a legal activism thing. And it's starting to look more and more like dealz to me.
There's actually a long story about it published in the Timeline ://A\\rc)}’Hi\\V//e: which chronicles our interactions and the impressions I've gotten from those events. It's in the antechamber stage and it's a weird story of how it seems as though for legal activism purposes they convinced this guy to think sae was hired onto their staff on the project of getting it orchestrated for me to have the job, but this was all a trick. I was paid a bunch of money and got consultations from this guy who I felt was from their staff, but I eventually realized it's like sae was totally fooled to think sae was real staff at all. Anyway it's a long story but it's obviously been looking like a legal activism scenario, just one which keeps on seemingly disintegrating the plans Jared and Shannon have wanted for me to get this job with 30STM. I mean I must admit it has resemblance to the notion of dealz for sure just by continuously having this characteristic that things keep degrading and getting worse, and it never works out.
But I'm still left with the question : in this version of the dealz, is it just that there's one way in which I could get the job before my physical transformation which is dealz? Or is it the whole entire job overall anytime before the transformation which is dealz?
You know, totally honest with you, I'm starting to lean more into the beleif that it might be even better as the true destiny for this to happen when I'm alone. I was getting an intuition recently too from Jared as well. Jared came through spiritually in such a way tha tit seemed as hough sae was all flustered and over it and sure now that considering everything and all the terrible troubles I've been through lately in my life, it might be even more nurturing and just better for me to just work for the band from home and any physical transformation, weather it be by being able to afford plastic surgery or just pouring money into my health thanks to the job allowing it, could be done on my own. At the time I wasn't thinking my physical transformation was coming soon, but I'm starting to wonder if it actually is now after all the huge breakthroughs lately. It's so hard to say. Right now I need it more than ever so my mind might be desperate making it feel like I want to imagine so, but it doesn't feel like that kind of a mental reason why I'm having these breakthroughs lately. It just seems the midjourney thing was so meant to be and these breakthroughs are by progress of legal activism.
It's just that right now, it feels as though it could happen soon or whatever. And I'm starting to think it will happen alone. In which case, it's hilarious to realize that just because I'd look as exquisite as all that and be such a miracle, even means that I would just automatically be able to get a job anywhere which suits me (lol). I'd be much more hireable looking like such a supermodel, but literally that's not really how it works in this life with jobs (lol). And I'm not interested in being a professional model. That in itself is a bad move. It's not the right thing for sure. I would NEVER give so much away to companies like magazines when it could be saved for people like Jared or NIRVANA. But I think I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing for a living if it happens, and just realize, the options in life are more wide open now thankfully, and feel better, so I can succeed more freely at many things. So I mean, if I don't get the job just soon after the transformation, with 30STM, I'll definitely do everythign I can to reach Krist Novoselić of NIRVANA right away in emergency, asking what to do. And it's wonderful knowing that I can reach Krist if it's important.
But right now with a situation like this I don't think it would be safe for me to live in the USA. Considering the government conditions right now with racism against any races, and anyone from other countries, even Canada, and intensities around legal identification , and police so corrupt that they would steal your identification and falsify that you never had it, like ICE, it's just out of control obvious that I couldn't go there under Trump. Not if my situation with ID and race is sensitive.
Well, I think with certain safeties in place, which are all capable for me to do myself, I could go for just a short trip to the USA to see Jared for an initiation. If Jared would like to be part of this. Or Krist for sure if Jared's not available. But not to live there. But Jared & Shannon are going to be touring in Europe, so I could go there safely with no problem. And a meet and greet might do. Just meet and greet photos seem that they would do for the first photos taken of me by outside people. It would be an initiation both ways.
Like looking this good, I think it would be fun too if I'd go and live nomadically for a while, just relying on the kindness of my Dad. My spiritually adopted non-biological Dad has a shed where I could stay. It's not the greatest, but it's alright. And my friend Yang does have an extra room available where I could stay. And it would mean a lot to me to convince these dear friends of mine in person that it's really me, and take advantage of their offers that I could always stay there if I needed to. But I'd rather keep my apartment to be honest.
I need my motorhome to be able to drive, and maybe I could travel with it across country to go visit my family. I could kinda stay with my Dad in Guelph living with the motrohome as my room, but it's terrible in the winter and I'd never be able to heat the motorhome enough in those kinds of winters. So I'd need to go in, and they only have an extra room for my sister Katie. I guess I could share a room with Katie, and let sae have it when sae's there on weekends and holidays. And in the winter, I could sleep on the couch. But maybe it would be OK to work a low paying job and get a small room somewhere in Guelph. It's just that I'd rather keep my apartment, that's really better for me.
But frankly, I'd just way rather the job from 30STM. It seems tragic if Jared and 30STM didn't get the chance to have the show with me about this. I just think it's meant to be, and I can also meet Marilyn Manson and sae's wife Lindsay, and Krist and sae's wife Darbury too. I mean perhaps even Courtney Love at a meet and greet if I'm lucky. And I have tickets to see Foo Fighters in September but not a meet and greet. It's perfect for Jared's show and I know Jared would love to help, so it must be that at some point it will work out. All I can say is that it's better for Jared if it's sooner.
What would really be best is if I got the job with 30STM to work at home, and I can use that to keep my apartment while also funding important visits to my friends and family to address the change, as an extra trip. Then I could meet Jared and Shannon at some point too, even in other places.
Anyway it's just that this would be so perfect with stars. It gives them the best opportunity to be an important part of the story.
I hope none of my friends would think I had been murdered and replaced with someone who doesn't even look like me yet claims to be me (lol). I really don't feel like it would be that way. Again, I keep feeling like my friends — all my closest friends — have been informed of everything already and are fully prepared for this all to happen.
Anyway to finalize, I'll tell you a little story about Jared Leto that I've been thinking lately. I don't know when sae might have been informed by NIRVANA's way to do with me, but Jared's first song for the self-titled album 30 Seconds to Mars, Capricorn, makes it seem as though Jared's planning to fake sae's own death someday.
The fact is, it looks like for sure sae may very likely have been aware that Kurt Cobain had faked sae's death, and actually thought perhaps sae would like to do the same. And I don't know when I became interesting for Jared in secret, but I imagine it was long long long before I started interacting with sae. But I don't think that sae would have known for sure that it would be OK to be part of my show anyway, even if sae knew that I was going to go through this transformation. Sae may hav eknown of this upcoming plan but just not thought that sae would have the chance to ever be part of the show about this. And so maybe sae had been planning to just fake sae's death someday like Kurt Cobain, until sae realized there was another way.
Because lately, Echelon (30STM fans) have been hinting that they realize Jared may fake sae's death or die. They have been saying things like "Don't let it be like icons who left us too soon like posthumous fame. Make sure NOW while Jared is still around, that sae gets all the adoration and respect TODAY." It's honestly as if they have a sneaking suspicion based on Capricorn that Jared is planning to fake sae's death like Kurt Cobain. And Kurt Cobain went on to have a very healthy time in Peru doing Ayahuasca, which you can find in my amazing artwork FACET 1(73) ◊ ORIGINAL, and that's a GREAT way to retire from stardom in a wonderfully comfortable life. But if Jared had hoped to do Ayahuasca in Peru someday like Kurt Cobain, the amazing thing is that there's a way that sae could while remaining famous, and having the best life, if it's in collaboration with me. Because I think that will be made possible for me to be famous even though I'm an Ayahuasqera, by the legal activism surrounding all this, and that would include my close friends and those in my life like them. They are family to me, and they would need to be safe too.
We would only do Ayahuasca when in Peru but that's considered a little on the dicey side if you're famous, because Ayahuasca's illegal, but I think our legal activism could make that safe for us. Ayahuasca has taught me all about it. We might even get the laws changed so that you can legally practice the Shipibo-Conibo traditions in Canada or the USA or both.
So it's just an imagining, but let's just say it was that : Jared planned to fake sae's death until sae realized sae could be in my show and have the best time with NIRVANA instead of just emulate Kurt's faked death. And just to explain, the lyrics of Capricorn take on a whole new meaning if you combine it with me. Because in my art, I propose that Jared Leto is a simulated reality created by Kurt Cobain which embodies Kurt Cobain entirely, only in a different form. Essentially my art says that Jared is Kurt Cobain on the deepest level of identity, and even has the same DNA as Kurt only this DNA can express itself in a way that isn't bound to parental physical features, inherited ones. So that just means, Capricorn is just Jared speaking through the voice of Kurt Cobain as an art piece. Not emulating, but speaking as one with Kurt.
Now, I've only told that belief of mine and direction of my art so far, other than my statements posts, to one close friend indepth. But one special close friend, and then another one recently, I offered sae this important UNITY LIFE information. And now I realize, this would serve as very important proof, and person is very trustworthy and would be a wonderful person to offer personal testament that this belief has been deeply ingrained in me since the very start, or at least since earlier, enough to tell friends, not just say it on my show. Because it shows that I didn't make this up just for a convenient story and pretend it was always my ideas since the start. And that authenticates it as not being just made up for convenience's sake for Jared Leto, out of my interest in sae.
But assuming that's good, and I think it is, then that means that it can get popular that the idea is, actually, Jared wrote Capricorn not because sae was planning to fake a death but because of this plan in art with me. Or even that sae actually changed sae's mind about it at some point.
But the thing is too Jared's hinted totally at this at times anyway. When Jared spoke about sae's impersonation of Kurt Cobain, sae spoke of weather or not sae had actually gotten permission from NIRVANA to do that impersonation of Kurt. And sae said it like chivingly like it's stilly to even ask such a question because sae shouldn't need permission to be saeself. Sae said something like "Permission just to be myself?". And in an interview once, an interviewer asked Jared "What's your sign?" and Jared said "I'm a Pisces" even though Jared is a Capricorn. And Kurt Cobain is a Pisces. And I've said, I don't know if I've said enough, it seems that Kurt Cobain emphasized sae's astrological sign so much in sae's art of NIRVANA, and Jared did too in 30STM with the song Capricorn, that this seemed designed as a Kurt Cobain parallel. But anyway, those last two things in this paragraph coudl have various meanings. It could also just mean Jared was going to emulate Kurt, or it could mean that Jared had this plan to actually go with my art with me and allow it speculated on greatly if perhaps Jared literally is Kurt Cobain.
And the thing is, that's one huge reason why I believe Jared reached out to me so much, is because in my belief, Jared is Kurt Cobain. And I just think that Kurt of all people, of all stars, would have to be the first one to reach out to me quite a bit more directly, considering my art centres completely around sae being alive. Actually Courtney Love was the very first. And to this scale, Jared has been the first to interact with me directly, ongoingly and consistently for such a long time as a year now, just as a constant contact thing. And that makes sense that Kurt Cobain would do that. But Kurt is away of course, as Kurt's faked sae's death. So to me, it makes absolute perfect sense that sae would send a simulated reality of saeself to have this show with me in sae's place. And I actually believe that I will oneday witness Jared Leto transform into Kurt Cobain. But that's a whole other story.
Oh I'm sorry. I thought that would be a good conclusion but I've just started reading over my writing and I realized in the start of the piece, I promised I'll tell you more about my body later, and what it's going to be.
One of the things I received in my sacred visions from Archangel Michael ever since the very beginning, and which has come up super powerfully since then, has been that my body will be covered in gorgeous tattoos. The tattoos will have rainbow coloring of a gradient spectrum in such a way so that these gradients progress ongoingly throughout the various designs creating an overall rainbow impression. And the quality of the tattoos will be so incredible that it will defy many beliefs of what is literally possible at all in tattoos. And I never did imagine quite this type of radiantly reflective rainbow substance type of face exactly, but things such as shimmering or metallic looking and gold tattoos that really catch the light magically have always been part of the vision. And the way I got this shimmery rainbow stuff on the face in midjourney is that for a long time I was trying for rainbow light shining on the face, but I eventually noticed midjourney makes the light seem pretty fake most of the time and it doesn't land on the face that realistically. And I had been experimenting also with other kinds of substances like this on the face, but I got the idea to try it like a makeup which catches rainbow light, and midjourney got it really cool.
Midjourney's not capable of doing tattoos very well, and I'm not capable of describing tattoo ideas in prompts very well actually, but this rainbowy substance seems accurate perhaps to some degrees of the tattoos. Frankly, I've always thought, perhaps I wont' get the tattoos quite as unbelievable grade as this midjourney portrait at first. It might be just a first stage of the transformation, more low key about in the tattoos in order to not draw too much attention. But if it's safe enough, I could have it as tattoos, and people might think I have extraordinary makeup, and not know it was my actual skin.
And there was a period of time when I was connecting spiritually a lot with Jared Leto, like in 2024 around the spring I think, just in a spiritual way. I wrote about this story on my Timeline of our interactions, explaining that I had a series of intense recurring dreams of Jared at the time. Well, I didn't mention because it's a little censored, but in special vision states, I also went into deep meditation and felt that Jared was showing me that sae knows many of the tattoos which it will be. Certain tattoos, especially my neck tattoos, were visually described to me, seemingly from Jared presenting these ideas to me as already known. And this was like a dream or psychedelic vision, and maybe it was, but it's censored sorry (lol). Whatever it was to have such imagination, Jared seemingly presented me in a totally destined high vision series with all these tattoos what it would be. But I still don't know all the tattoos.
I've also had countless mystical experiences of a similar nature with Marilyn Manson about these kinds of miraculous tattoos. I knew in deep visionary states that Marilyn Manson has these kinds of tattoos in a deeper dimension of reality, and in that reality, sae has black skin. And Manson never did present me with my own tattoos quite so specifically, but has come through so much about miracles from thin air, specifically master paintings. A painting by a master painter which would tkae them even a thousand years to do by hand, produced in one instant as exactly what that artist would create as a miracle from thin air. Well the thing is, Manson loves paintings and is also a painter. I've always felt like Manson cared so much about my tattoos, but this was just a special thing with Jared with revealing after years of not knowing, what some of them were going to be. I've always known most of them, but the neck tattoo was a completely new revelation. It's flowers, so beautifully, and like leaves almost and pedals.
Well again, I don't know if my tattoos will be the fullest degree in the first transformation. I believe it will be a first level, and then go on later with more in a much later stage, years later. I dont' know when. But one thing I've announced and have been writing about is that I have ideas for my tattoos that I'd get anytime I could afford it from a tattoo artist, you see. My MARS tattoo and my Marilyn Manson tattoo, on either hand, the design is so special to me what it's going to be. But I've seen videos of Jared Leto doing tattoos saeself on people, and I know it's the greatest honour imaginable to have it physically done by Jared with a MARS tattoo, so I always did wonder if that might actually occur someday if I was the luckiest. But the thing is, if I was with Jared when I transformed, it would be true in a special way that it would seem as though in a sense, it's true enough that Jared performed the miracle on me of my miracle tattoos, without the tattoo gun. Cause a miracle is produced by the universe, and this is from within, but anyone who resonates and identifies with this as their own act of producing a miracle, may also say they have performed it. If Jared supported the conditions for this transformation to happen by legal activism, then I know sae would identify with that. So that's enough for me.
But I could also have Jared just do a tiny tattoo dot ontop of the miracle tattoos with the tattoo gun, on the existing tattoo, just to be able to formally say that sae's technically done the tattoo physically (lol). Because that dot would be part of the whole, and that means the whole tattoo if you think holistically of it (lol).
What if I'd get my transformation alone, but then I go to the next level of just the tattoos coming out when I'm with Jared? What if only that extra part gets added when I'm in the room with sae? Sae could even touch my hand where the MARS tattoo will be, indicating with this touch that it's by Jared.
In fact, it was always going to be that I'd have a kiss mark tattoo on the left hand which would symbolize Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese. Dita literally kissed my left hand in person at a meet and greet for purposes of this tattoo, you see. In my beliefs, that counts as Marilyn Manson having the honour, because I believe that Dita Von Teese is a simulaed reality by and of Marilyn Manson in another form, just like Jared is of Kurt Cobain. So I believe this works as one for my tattoo. And I've had some really potent dreams about Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese which part of it turned into a UNITY LIFE Archive, and some of the dreams I haven't told there have included Manson going very indepth into the kiss print. One time in a dream of these proportions, I asked Marilyn Manson for an autograph when sae was an androgynous combination of both saeself and Dita Von Teese, and sae started practicing and getting ready to give the autograph by doing kiss prints on a piece of acetate. And the kiss prints were all in different colors of lipstick, all of them my exact various colors that I was using for lipstick myself at the time.
But the thing is, it's like I have this left hand tattoo of MM, and the right hand tattoo of MARS, so the way I've done it is to blend the symbolism of the two so that both represent both stars. Like what I've done is said that I'll have the SOLVE 4 image which is the logo of the 7 of 9 and resembles the 30STM logo on my right hand, and then have the COAGULA symbol with the kiss print, on the left hand. And the COAGULA, in the 7 of 9, is actually more representative of 30STM or Marilyn Manson than any other. But according to alchemy, so is the SOLVE, just in a lesser way, like a lesser metal that would be actually transformed through alchemy into gold. So this way, it's OK if Jared would kiss my left hand to make the tattoo. This doesn't at all take it away from Marilyn Manson then. Dita's had the first kiss anyway. And it was in relation to Dita that I've experienced some later physical miracles later in life, as is documented at the master archive DITA VON TEESE ◊ MATERIALIZATIONS FROM THIN AIR found at unitylifemysteryschool.art/dita.
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