A Follow Up About Animal Medicine Spirit Totems In My Life (Alice Cooper, Jared & Manson, Kurt & Courtney)

Continuing On ...

OK yeah this whole piece really does represent many long sessions writing in my diary for real over the years doing a very special technique that I do of listing things out a certain way about shit that's been going down. It's like categorizing it in bloodhound scent. This has been totally my life for real, very emotional for me, very deep, in really long winded personal lore. And it's that thing about it which is so powerful, is that it was a real life experience, a way of coping with terrible conditions. It's a tragic story actually, and should cause anyone's heart to really reach out in compassion emotionally that they feel so bad for me. And it's very emotional for me that all this time, I've felt a powerful spiritual / intuitive connection with Alice Cooper always about the bloodhound. Every time I went to bloodhound work to cope in my diaries, I felt this hugely loving energy from Alice and the whole band. It was like "That's my bloodhound! You get em, Ba! This is so Alice Cooper! I'm so proud of my bloodhound!". 

And that's great (lol) bur now that I've written this out I cannot believe that I'm finally understanding on such a greater level just why exactly that would be an Alice Cooper thing (lol). It's so sick to realize this. I'm waking up lol now that this has been put on a public blog on UNITY LIFE to how this is actually such a trgic story if I actually resonated that much with this medicine totem, of being like a dog animal in this particular design that it's in relationship to humans. Like it's really really cool that Tim Skold is into wolves, as he's hard rock / metal and really cool, it's like a humanish wolf or a warewolf level, and there we have the animal medicine empowered as one with the human psychological layer of it. But when you separate the human from the animal in a medicine totem, having it in outer relation, it's alrgith if that's honest for you that you're experiencing separation from your family but that's really sad in the sense of me being cool like any rock star (lol). Cause I do aim to be my own kind of cool, and I'm not saying this makes me less cool that I've been into this, but it really is obviously not my higher destiny — although that's entirely the magic of the story and why Alice and them would love this. 

I'm not the biggest expert of Alice's music but with his fan theme of sick things, I'm starting to figure it out here (lol). It's like with a huge emotional honest in artistically rendering your pain and your challenges in such a way to ehlp you cope with that from authentic voicing yourself, you can really create an evolutionary platform to self-realize or somehow grasp your way out of it better using this kind of tool. 

Like that's crazy to think of it like this. Cause the bloodhound really is the highest glory I think of the story of the wolf becoming domesticated and becoming a dog. It's like definitely, this does tell you so much about what the wolf is genetically capable of theoretically as to its underlying genetic nature and that it has so much higher potential. But just like the story of the dog, it's tragic, cause you must admit it seems that the natural free wolf has all that intellgeence of a bloodhound for extremely well catalogued scent work and organization of information in its mind, but it's just that it's expressing itself more self-oriented and free. But this is not without relationship, family, and connection with others of course in a beautiful meaningful way. So ......... 

I'm thinking the bloodhound is not a main spirit totem animal for me actually but I really want to say, it's the ULTIMATE illustration of molting. Like someday, I'm so serious, this would be the MAGICAL best example of molting, from The 9 Strategies of the COAGULA, from The 7 of 9. As you can imagine as the strategy name suggests, it's a strategy comparable to the molting of a serpent's scales. To navigate harsh terrain, their scales start to separate off like kinda an armour to protect from bad situations and terrain you know? This is to help keep their scales safe from rocks and from getting scuffs. They actually start to lierally create a false scales, a fabrication of scales, not the real scales that they will keep, and this covers the real thing up. And that way it's a trick. And it has been that — OMG the level to which this has so incredibly almighty fuckin been that in my whole fucking life OMG. Like this is such an emotional moment for me if I might get this job I'm looking for, just looking back on my situation all this time has been SUCH A MOLTING, it's so unbelievable what it has been the level fo how that works. That's a life story of mine that it will take so many years to unfold the story how deep this goes, if I get this new job. It will be healing beyond, but that's just like the scales coming off, it's totally natural. Like the serpent, when it releases it's scales, that at a point when the crust is probably really uncomfortable on its body of this dead skin layer. 

In fact that's how it felt when I stopped wearing wigs all the time (lol). I was joking around to wear wigs actualy, it was totally on purpose as molting. I saw it as a disguise, a joke of wearing a disguise, but literally the wig became so physically uncomfortable and it was just making me feel so upset about what's underneath feeling so neglected (lol). That's a humour example of molting there. But ti really was symoblic like that, as a trick like the coagula strategis. 

Anyway, yeah, as you can see I'm of course really into serpents — I mean naturally, that's because I'm into Ayahuasca. Anyone first learning about Ayahuasca, you'll find out fast — it's all centred around the well known mythology that it is known as a serpent medicine. That's a gorgeous story cause everyone gts the same visions for sure from Ayahuasca, for SURE. Some visions, EVERYONE gets. It's all thse incredible teachings about the meaning of a serpent. The Ayahuasca vine literally looks like a serpent, and the gometry is like DNA, so with that stuff, it's just incredibly core prominent culture with this medicine to be all inspired by serpents. There's tons of stories about teh great rainbow anacondas of the Amazon too, as the great king serpents, and so much more. 

Like no getting away from it lol, because Im that into Ayahuasca, it's like OF COURSE the serpent is huge for me (lol). 

But as for like totally other animals and just getting into it. Just to say, like I have been into other medicine totems. Like in Ayahuasca as well, the leopard is prominent, which is related with the black panther, and I'm mainly featuring that interest of mine. But for myself personally actually, I haven't even said that the black panther really is ME, like really the Ba spirit totem for me. I'm into that, but I would have to say the longest standing big cat for me has always been the lion. Now, as a young girl raised in a family that was very proudly British, I was introduced strongly to the lion as a big deal. My grandfather was so patriotic and he was also into paintings with oil, and he did a gorgeous portrait of a male and female lion relaxing together, which I owned. It had a light on it. But the thing is, as much as I have any issues with just colonialism of the Brits, and I'm really woke and anti-colonization, I still really don't mind and I love how that came up for me with the female lioness as my totem. 

For years my artistic name for music and visual art was LYONESS, cause I read in an animal medicine book you could misspell the name on purpose for that medicine work. And I find that a much more honest portrayal fo myself than the bloodhound. 

Like frankly, it seems to go from the tragic story of identifying wiht the bloodhound, to the rising into the lioness once again, reclaiming my old days with art and music too. Cause the lioness you see, she's a powerful hunter. The thing is, the lioness handles the hunt for the whole family. Male lions are nowhere even remotely as good at hunting as females. When you watch nature documentaries on their hunts it's absolutely hilarious just how bad the male lions are at it compared to the females (lol). It's a glorious thing to witness how the females hunt so well. They just go straight to the jugular. And what they do is they get it almost dead pretty much, then toss it over to the male lions, and the males just play with their food and torture the prey for a long time just in flow of play (lol). It's as good as dead thanks to the female, so they just go all fun having a party with the prey. They're not at all precise to kill. And that could be obviously a better picture of me in my relationship with stars somedays lol (lol). It's more honouring of my role. 

Now this whole thing of just BAM with so much precision, int eh right timing and in the perfect form, just going in mid flight in running and leaping to the jugular so well, then not letting go until it's dead, that really describes me in the hunt. 

I would have to say I've resonated so much with that about my personality all the years, and it does go great with my youth because in my youth I was a more freely expressing person about myself without second guessing myself you know, so I had a real edge back then (lol). I mean that's normal for youth. It's just in that normal free way for a young person. And yeah, I'm sure I was self-aware of this and others must have really noticed it, it's that I really go for the hardcore level on things and go all out, like just absolutely unstoppable and solid in a really itnense way. I mean I'm a much more intense person than most people and I'm sure anyone with an interest in reading this deep into weird chambers of UNITY LIFE has so noticed that by now (lol). It's not just intensity though, it's also precision. Precision has always fascinated me combined with intensity. 

So yeah like, that's really a good one with feminism which has been such a running theme in these blogs here. Cause i've been so looking at mysogyny and sexism, and how it extends beyond that and comes out into homophobia and stuff, and that's just really promient for me with that topic because of my focus on NIRVANA and Courtney Love / HoLE. But mainly to be honest Kurt Cobain. Courtney was all that, but she really fell in love with Kurt on this feminism thing, which was so her of course, but she really found it in such a gorgeosu special way with Kurt. This totally got her going just like me with her intelligence just going all over it with feminism being what it's all about. I mean even say it's just me and Courtney and Kurt would be in worship of us both (lol). Whatever (lol). 

But yeah no, and like, that's just the thing is that the lioness is great with feminism, but I am not sexist against men though. That's just one huge catch with it why I don't like to use that one prominently anymore in my art. I love the notion for feminism but I hate the idea that it comes out like a put down to men, that's just not my thing. But for sure, when you understand that yes, most of the stars I'm interested in are males, and you realize that the reason why it is that waya is because of male privelege in our society at its root, why men have had the advantage this much to hold these beautiful and important places in my life, it gets just a little bit political there. Because I do hate the way I can sense taht my critics are like "Oh she's not feminist, she just surrounds herself with men", like almost like "Tat's a cop out for a feminist to ride teh coattails of male privelege so prominently in their art". And I'm NOT riding anyone's fuckin coattails, I tell you THAT (lol) but no just that's right that our society is damaged though. It's a misunderstanding for sure if they think it makes me less feminist just because our society has provided more males in every area, including the highest arts. And I'm not copping out anywhere in this. But I know they like to blur the details and just go saying like "Oh these men are mysogynists, they're rapists whatever" and they're making that up completely. It is just an excuse to be a jerk. 

But I shouldn't care, but the issue really is though, it's just that I'm also such an honest proponent against sexism against men. Cause yeah, there's just a stanky sexism against men going on with some of this issue kind of bitching against types of feminists, when it's coming from just "We should be man haters" and they don't always want to admit that but sometimes they do admit ti fully. And as a sidenote, that's the nastiest thing I've ever seen in the Courtney Lov world is that her best fan pag fkyeahcourtneylove which is for sure the best one, totally had a bitch fight with me about this issue exactly.

I mentioned something to point out that her language wasn't inclusive of genders when she said rape victims are women like because rapits are statistically male. And she just said like essentially "fuck you." and she said, statistically most rape victims are women not men. And that's true, but my response was, to any one of those men or gender fluid anything people who were a victim of rape, THEY COUNT AND THEY MATTER. And it's that mistkae to say it's a gender which is a bad thing, or a race is a bad thing, instead of saying a bad thing is a bad thing and a race or a gender is just a race and a gender, it's two separate points here. And I cannot tell you actually how very offended I was by that person (like as you can imagine she had no room for this, she was completely revealing herself a deep seated man hater), and I m sure that does not speak for Courtney Love at all, so I don't mind that Courtney promotes that fan page, but I'm sad to see it. It's just a tragedy. 

And like seriously, that really is the kinds of issues that I really do need to keep in mind as well. That's the only reason I don't like that lyoness metaphor for my art anymore, is like you know with that one little problem, it does seem like an echo of gender imbalance as having been the isseues sometimes with colonialist mentality and such, historically. So with the lion being the symbol of England, it's like the eagle being the symbol of USA (lol). It's like haha, um whatever, it's not so much my style in medicine, especially considering I'm into rock and roll ........ like whatever like eagles and rock and roll, it's all good (lol) but it sometimes strikes a bit cheesy, that's all (lol). That's the only issue (lol). You know it's just some unprocessed issues about these themes in culture (lol). 

But it's totally all good of course, just as that was th eprevious name what I was into then. Cause it's a biographical reasoning. At the time I was living with my parents and visiting England with it compeltely contextualized that my family is from there, and that's where the music was happening and it was about this music culture in England. 

But yeah that's very honest to me emotionally though with the lioness. And also just getting more into it, frankly, I'm just into the big cats of Ayahuasca more as something that I see it in others. I compare Kurt Cobain and Jared Leto with the black panther as that being an extension of the leopard, and Jared compares himself with a tiger. And I'm getting into it like, you know, I really seeit more to call them the black panther actually as my story why, but Jared's thing with the tiger has been getting me more into tigers for myself, and I'm realizing that I really liek the white ghost tiger actually. I really think probably the more I get into it, I'll find the white ghost tiger is so me actually. I think that might be a great idea for me to get serious about me like as being that cat, when I'm getting so into Jared Leto, since he's known as the orange tiger.

It's even more prestige that way for me in the hunt, cause tigers are faster and stronger, and a much more terrifying cat. But I've never resonated with that as me, I've always felt more like it's them that have that kind of intensity and ferocity and I appreciate that about them. But I would definitely say though, in a mystic level, like as a spiritual oracle and sage artist, as a powerful spirit effect, even like ghosts like heavy metal and darker music, I could TOTALLY say that it's more my thing in teh ghost tiger, as actually very true of me. And truthfully, that would be an emotional growth for me though to get into that more. But I see that as a really healthy, valuable true healing journey with Jared Leto, as I embrace that medicine more and get more into that, it's really finding way more power. And obviously in his aura, that he's benefitted and supported to make that possible. So I would always see in the ways he empowers me, I'm the ghost tiger how I appear in his aura, but that could be realized in a real deep emotional journey for me. 

And I've never seen one with Marilyn Manson but since I mirror the two artists as my artistic path between Jared and Manson, it would be fun to get into it with his totem of the bear. His is the bear, and it has all elements, the grizzly and the harmless black bear. And I haven't gotten into that one for me, but it's really cool with Manson. But likely I'm goign tosay, my guess is, he most likely resonates with ideas for me like serpents and winged, like I think I could see him saying to me "For us, together, let's look at cadeuceus and winged levels of prophecy with serpent, like your prophecy of the two headed serpent how that went into your art of the MM dream journal and stuff like that". And that works too cause not a lot of people know that bear medicine with Manson really anyway, it's pretty obscure. Which obviously like, that's for sure something I'm already into.

For me with the winged side of things, I've always been all about owl medicine. I've definitely gone the full way deep into totally hardcore working it out to massively use owl medicine for healing. When it comes to anything like shamanic healing techniques where you can work with the owl for an important healing effort to get serious results, that's the one animal I've taken it the furthest with by far. Like I don't know if it would look that good in visual art if I did this for a cadeuceus owl thing, but maybe if I'm lucky with the feathers being so rounded, but yeah .... that's very resonant with Manson. It's the silence of the flight. Lately I've been thinking of it so much how silently Manson flies in his hunting. So many times I wished to make a post about Manson because he means so much to me inside, but I couldn't do it because I detect that his flight is so silent, and this is to capture, and then I could do more posts. But yeah, it really is a big one there for him and for me. Me, I'm more into the healing layer of itthough. 

Like I met a guy once who was really itno the Peyote church, and he was mainly into owl medicine. And he COMPLETELY embraced his entire way as being all owl for all healing in his whole huge path with peyote, which was quite indepth. And his insights into the owl are just gorgeous. Like it's totally interesting with all the species how it goes in the hunt. But for me, I'm abotu the barn owl. 

Oh yeah sorry that's what I forgot to say about visual design lol yeah haha, that's the thing. Barn owl feathers are very rounded so they might not look good in cadeuceus shapes, but yeah trust meh, they are definitely the kind of owl I'm into. I'm so ll about those soft feathers, and the silence. It's just so moving with their sight. But I think Manson would be into more species of owls himself. I saw once how they take over the forest for their hunts before starting. They knock so many sleeping birds off the branches haha, and make it open and clear, with all these hilarious falling sleeping birds just losing branch and falling (lol). They totally push it out with everyone to make a stage of clarity, there then they hunt in ease (lol). And literally if they come to a human, they're for sure doing that with an intellgence likely far greater than the human, and very over thou. They're just so over thou, like with the stilts Manson does in his performance as being a higher being, higher than thou, it's all that for sure (lol). 

My family criticized me often for being "over thou" a lot. To this day I suspect that they make fun of my last name Adonai as being this whole routine I've been on since childhood (lol). They joked to me as a child that I'm acting like as if I'm some kind of royalty here, like we joked "You shall be among those who will be spared. I spare you. Kiss the ring". That was their way of making fun of a child for acting so high and mighty when you're just a child (lol). Bu I have to say I resonate with that in later days with Manson (lol). I guess I have it in me (lol). 

Anyway, that's about it for me I guess other than insects. Like yeah for me it's a huge thing about the blue morpho butterfly as opposed to the monarch. Thats' a really big steez I'm into. I've had real experiences in the Amazon with blue morphos. I remember after a ehaling medicine bath in a real pool of natural water in the jungle, 100's of blue morphos suddenly swarmed through the pool as this explosion of blue morphos there, and I was just dying it was so beautiful. Then I lookeda t teh monarch butterfly that it doesn't live long, it easily dies fast cause it's like it's really too fragile. I associated that with genetic modification of abuse which can alter DNA over time in the negative. And the greater DNA, I associate that with the medicine, and blue morphos are associated with Ayahuasca to some extent, mainly because they come up a lot in those areas and it's just so beautiful. The only problem about this thing is Billy Corgan. I don't like to even talk about this one because of my problems with Billy Corgan, that's why it's not really allowed with this one (lol). But yeah the story goes insanely deep with blue morphos to do with Smashing Pumpkins and that's just a painful issue with me actually because that's fully not allowed in my life now but that's too bad </3. But that's depressing Smashing Pumpkins for you, they really suck as a band being always such a depressing story.

Like fuck Smashing Pumpkins, I'll just tell my beautiful blue morpho story about monarchs and not mention them as part of it right? (lol). Well listen lol, it's just not as simple as that (lol). That's the nightmare, it's like it gets really inescapable with them on that one story. Billy Corgan, he's well known as a sneak. And he sneaks around like a freaky sneak I'm telling you, just as the biggest pro of wiggling his fuckin way out of trouble. He wiggles like as if wiggling is all he fuckin does, like a weirdo contortionist just trying tow iggle out of trouble. And thats his weird life cause he takes too much on, I think. It's too overburdened in his life. I cannot process his life. And it's like he'd wiggle his way, OMG, to force that it's such an issue that Billy'snot to blame so no worries about the monarchs so have the monarchs with Billy Corgan but OMG (lol). When it continues to be a problem, you just can't go there, it's so annoying. My life with Billy is always, I feel so much like blaming him but yeah he wiggles and then I can't blame him technically, but it's always like that. Like sorry, this story is becoming non-understandable now (lol). 

This is the fun way that my blogs here get out of control. I like that about it. It's just going off in crazy directions. If you've read this far, it's less entertaining for someone who wouldn't understand this kind of thing. Thank you if you're sweet and you're reading this, cause I made this one specially not as negative so as to be kind to swet people who are curious, because the story has been promoted. I'm assuming most people don't have the energy to read all this, but just incase you're that incredibly nice. I can't imagine. It takes me hours to write this. If you took hours to read it, I can't believe you. But that's really nice actually if you're nice :) <3 

Actually enormous gratitude goes out seriously to the DEPTHS that I cannot express, to those who have read these blogs just to worry about me right now in this crisis, and have actually done soemthing to change the problem and make it better. Words cannot express my gratitude to this rag tag team of heros who have come to save me right now. But this team of heros is not so rag tag anymore is it??!! (lol) </3 (vampire teeth) < ].