Update On How it's Been Going The Last Month - Still Rough But Interesting

It's been nearly a month and I feel I should update this blog. Just so that you know, since I initially posted this cry for help, I've noticed slow improvements at work in terms of the amount of business I was able to get. At the time I posted originally, I had to ask someone to bail me out for $1000 around rent day — and thank God they did but that's a terrifying experience for me. The next month, I had to ask another friend to bail me out for $250, but I was happy to be able to tell my earlier friend I mentioned before that that was the only amount. That was an improvement, and then now this past day on the first, I was absolutely amazed to cover my rent and bills all early — but sadly that's all I was able to take care of was basics like that, and I'm still denying myself some supplements I used to use like collagen. Just spending as low as I can on groceries. So many little things I used to normally buy for myself like a cheap outfit from TEMU now and then or whatever, is all impossible. But at least I'm coming out of such a shockingly scary time. And I can only pray to God this will continue to improve. 

But who my Gods are that I pray for, I must seriously ask that question. Because I posted this hoping that some stars that I find an interest in, who have been following along with me quietly sometimes, may have seen it. And the reason I see them as my salvation potentially in this situation is parially because I believe that they have indepth knowledge of these types of technological and surveillance systems that have been orcehstrated against me at my work. I believe that there is a clear appearance here that it seems as though they may have heard word, and organized what they have, which is probably very advanced.

Marilyn Manson for example was actually known to be creating his own deepfakes long before deepfakes were even something the public had heard of at all. He's very very indepth about technology. Quite a bit of advanced talk about surveillance systems and advanced hacking or whatever, goes on around him constantly. Some are very superstitious that he has great technlogical powers, myself included. But in my opinion, he's not the only one — he's just a rare bird who'd like to advertise that about himself. Thats' just my opinion. I believe it appears as though there may be an ongoing group effort to start controlling and stopping what's happening at my work. From stars. I'm not saying it's a firm belief that this has happened, but I'm only saying that I think it LOOKS LIKE THAT, and that is what it appears TO ME, although I understand it might sound weird as a perception to some, yet please understand, it's coming from intricate knowledge of mine.

Whatever the case, that something could save me now is something I don't feel it's healthy to call those kinds of hopes or ideations as delusion. So far this assault has been getting just a little bit better every month, very slowly. That's worth considering might be an uphill pattern that will continue for a reason of what I have done, cried for help. You know? Like if I don't get better and this all goes to fuckin hell in a handbasket until I'm like OVER in some sense — so what if it was delusion along the way to my doom that I believed in such saviours? So what—  cause then I'm as if I'm not even around to matter anyway, and it won't matter at all. But if my life goes uphill, I'll have been right. I have to take those kinds of bets as best as I can that someone's got my back in this lfe, even if you'd rather believe it only as God above. 

That's been enough for now to soothe me as I notice that my cry for a job is not responded yet (like to the point of an actual job with pay haha). It is responded in such a way that it seems it's like "Wait — be patient" or whatever but not NO, definitely not a no coming back. I really really have a very powerful intuition that it's going to happen with the job, but I must say, the game right now is no longer about that if it's not moving faster. It's about buckling down and just getting through this assault. Right now, I guess my mind is more in place to just be thankful that things have gotten a little better ... not juust for a short bit but progressively ... and keep hoping it gets better and better. 

It occurred to me actually about that. What if the story goes that let's say it's like this : maybe 30STM did actually worry for me and talk to some stars, cause they got the message loud and clear about what was happening at work for sure. Then maybe based off that, they joined forces with other stars to use technological means to lower this harm? And the wanted to give me the job, but what they ACTUALLY THOUGHT was like "This seems to be blocking the job that there is such a crisis at work for her. Like we can probably get this stopped at her work, so maybe it's even better for how it looks when she gets the job if her work has gotten better first. Because then, she can express herself more from a super believable place of major honesty and much more from a centred authentic style of self-review about why she no longer finds her current job suitable. And then it won't seem like it was true she'd rather be living her life freely doing what SHE wants, she didn't need this big todo with such an involved job at 30STM perhaps."

You know? Cause what if the job ends up being really involved, like kinda like the type  of job that you dn't clock your hours, you don't have to, cause you're chosen for it based on the fact that it seems that it is your whole self and all of who you are already to apply yourself to it — like a true vocation. You know, like some people who work on salary who have honoured roles, they are viewed as sacrificing their whole life to the job, and sometimes they ask themselves "Do I even have a life outside this job?". Cause it's not like being on salary means they don't care if ou work but the key is YOU care if you work. What it is is only that you're chosen because you're fully capable of understnading what kinds of opportuniies are actually there that you could fulfill, and you see where responsibiities are demanding and so you meet that demand wherever you see it — and so that just means yeah, things can be out of control for how much you end up working sometimes. Very naturally for you. Like technically you have no schedule or hours so you're expected to take you-time and self-address yourself and be yourself having what you need to just self-nurture, and so theoretically there are no rules at all how much you can. But it's just that you're hired because you're naturally so ambitious so you'd be fully trusted in salary. 

I am acrually very naturally ambiious like that, and I do see it — that's surely a reason they're interested in hiring me. But the thing is, yeah — it could seem just so incredibly speculative as to weather UNITY LIFE Mystery School has been turned into a fucking 30STM battery pack instead of being authentically "who she is" from their perspective what they want to believe it truly is who I am (lol). Just htat whole thing is such a litlte political piece you know within the band world there. Like other bands what if some of thier stupid so-called community thought they should be jealous cause I used to do more stuff for other bands but now it's getting like all about 30STM might say, And would start to be a bitch about it. I'm not kidding (lol). I'm NOT kidding (lol). YEAH (lol).Haha it can be that bad in bitch land (lol). They prceive by the job that I've had a value to say let's use Marilyn Manson, let's say or any one — then they see the stuf fis less about like Manson or other bands now — then they bitch about it then when they see that as a change on UNITY LIFE. 

And they really start causing trouble but no worries — that's just a VERY rough sketch of the types of issues I'm really referring to. Like it's a very complex issue, it's not just Bitch A talked to Bitch B and now it's public opinion in the Mansonites that I'm being exploited by 30STM and now that's what anyone will say about me anytime when it gets noticed what's even up with me. It's actually something much more logistically complex what I mean,b ut tha's a quick thought just to give you teh impressions. It's no worries in my mind — I really dn't care when it comes down to it actually — cause I'll just do my thing. I mean I'll be loyal to all my stars, but it's understandable if I have newly absorbing work with a particular band and that takes things over .... to some exent. I have certain accountability as well. 

But it's this narrative : "Oh she's been exploited here for sure. Where's her time and energy space to alos look at other topics aside from their drive and hopes?". I always saw that coming and never cared, cause it's bullshit anyway to project. That's just — it's no worries — it's just the types of things that I'm efortlessly aware would happen and no doubt 30STM might have though of that. 

And so maybe they wanted it to be like say that I'd calm down, the heavier hardcore at work would calm down, and eventually afer I'm feeling better without a new job just where I'm even at in life now, I can finally express myself better about some things like why this current ine of work is not suitable. And I think the stars like 30STM are not the ones I need to explain this to at all. They KNOW it's not suitable easily. But that's the reason they want to hire me for the job you see, cause they see my potential is WAYYYYYYYYYY beyond my current role. WAY WAY SOARING beyond. I'm a MASTER HEALER HERE, busting my ass on just a harm reduction project which my business actually is, when harm reduction is supposed to be just a side hobby for me. It's nice that I'm SUCH a master healer that I would even do a bit of harm reduction as a side hobby thing, but puh-lease, I DO NOT have the space to do what I am capable of as a healer. And as a healer in the medicine, I've been advised fully by the mediicne that my life as a healer is as an artist, one who intersects with (in fact is) the media, and THAT is my purpose. 

So maybe it's that kinda jazz, like saying things more from my soul about why I dn't find this current line of work suitable for me is actually for the best. Maybe that's wanted before I get the job. Stuff like that. For example. Like the harm reduction idea. I have been brainstorming that kind of thing. I've been imagining it now based on this theory : "Imagine if I WAS making KICK ASS money at what I do right now. Imagine if there WAS NO EVIL ANTAGONIZATION from fabricated bots on this fucked survelilance mission to try to fuck around with me on all levels?" and "What would I say then to weather I'd rather have this job than work for 30STM you know?" And I've been totally thinking all about it. I think that harm reduction thing is my best one yet so far in thinking of it, cause that's a great point isn't it that harm reduction really sucks compared to healing? Like I often say it was the best decision of my life to become an Ayahuasqera — well FUCK YEAH it's the BOMB to be a master healer instead of just working the DOGS (lol). Damn right, that's luxury of a trade actually. Like if you wanna be a healer, take it from me, becoming a MASTER healer is the BEST for YOU. It was the smartest decision of my fucking life to come up with that dream in the first place when I was SO YOUNG. Nothing but the BEST for the BEST is what I thought for myself, and damn was that wise of me. 

And it's a miracle for SURE that Ayahuasca has actually granted me a way to work for money in what I do as an Ayahausqera which is different, which is not running Ayahuasca ceremonies as a business. Which is about ART. Something I can do in the media. I mean actuallyin some ways, that's misfortune almost though (lol) —  in the eyes of regular Ayahuasqera/o's — compared to me. CAuse for them it's simple. You graduate Ayahuasca and right away you've got a business you can run. Just sign people up for your ceremonies and you're off to the career races. But I can't run that kind of business because I'm a Perfumera. And my unique path as a Perfumera is with the media in my unique case. Being a Perfumera, at least if I was true to the trade of what a ceremony involves, means doing ceremonies that are for sure not applicable at al to any business model to be able to do that for a living. I'd never do it. PLUS it's so not my destiny even if I wanted to break down and try, because in order ot be ambitious enough for my true path as I was advised by the medicine, I need to actually be all hype about myself in the media and on this website and public about it that I'm an Ayahuasqera — and that's what you DON'T DO if you are planning to run a business off of hustling what's technically illegal in our country. You lay low, you DO NOT SAY about yourself online. For me I'm cut off from Ayahuasca entirely right now due to that. Someday in Peru I hope to safely practice again but not here. Not with this kind of media presence. 

So why the medicine put me in that position (lol). It's almost a CURSE (lol). It's NOT the same way as a normal money life with the medicine. But for me I consider it a blessing. It's just my unique experience that I love the blessing I was given by my teachers as they chose me because I would love it thte most and it was right for me uniquely. I personally love it the most, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I'm a hyper specialist type of Ayahuasqera, and I am a FULL THROTTLE master healer, not AT ALL purely only by serving the medicine to people but through art. As you can see by this website. But you better believe I'll always look forward to my time in Peru. 

But that's one of many. There's way more why this line of work is not suitable as well. It's also too just a natural thing in myself and my personal experiences. There are certain liberties to being an intimacy counsellor. You deal with people on the level of sexual intimacy — at least I do. What I do is a unique type of intimacy counsellor — I am not working from a training model. I have created my own model for healing in this method I use. It's an incredible job I've done and I feel literally just taxed in the wrong field, but yeah as a master healer I've been more than capable of carrying msyelf with soverignty to at least create a creative new model of healing through a type of counsel which is about intimacy — all kinds of intimacy. And tha's amazing of me and I am so proud of myself. 

But just if I would like to be exposed to people's personal lives when it comes to intimacy (sweat). You know, it's liberating and a beautiful thing for sure, but it's very exposed actually to people. I've reached the point where theoretically I think it's so beautiful, but in honesty to feelings I feel like yes it's beautiful, but it doesn't sit that wel for me as how much exposure I have to have to people. I found it was adjusting me so much after being homeless actually and in such a limited condition back then, to be exposed to socializing with people of all backgrounds, faiths, circumstnances, ideologies. I found this kind of socializing effect for me was very broadening and grounding in some great ways, but I've just kinda burst out of the shell, you know? Let' ssay, in a sense, I was emotionally protected by the constancy of exposure to real people and reali lives, just antyhing — getting real about human life and this world. But I feel that strengthened me until it was no longer needed and I just feel I've gotten the most I naturally would out of a process like this. I just feel that readiness emotionally to move beyond it as any useful container for processing the human interconnected reality. 

And I'm also sick and tired of he stigma that it bears actually. Liek I could argue against the stigma and make that point in the world to kingdom fuckin come but that doesn't mean I feel like THAT one argument about THAT kind of stigma really is my true core passion in life. There are other stigmas that I have a core passion in life to argue. Like the stigma abou mental health for example when I have somr eally far out psychedelic frames of mind that are stigmatized and pathologized in some views. I'm so psychedelic that they think I mgiht be psychotic (lol). I like that fight. That's my fight that I feel I just always want to sink my teeth into. It's my war that I've waged that I will live out for a lifetime. With every love. Because it's from that framework that I have te power to heal like the medicine even just through art, for example. And I'm more about that than sexuality as a stigma. I just hate that burden. It's hard to carry, and I never thought I would carry it long into my future. I was surprised I was forced to carry it in any way at this time afer the media came in through my ceremonies in 2017 — intuitively I never saw it coming because I was already there mentally with NIRVANA even before I found the band. Becaus eof the medicine affecting my psyche. 

But for someone ever involved with media, that fight about sexuality as a stigma is a hard battle. I've seen it done, and those are warriors, and it's not my ultimate passion. It's something I will always have to carry because of my past, but it's not the core of what I'm here to do. But just for calrification I just want to add, being a model is completely different though. I would love to always be a model, that's another thing. I'm into that, that's part of art, cause the human body matters to art a lot too. 

Now I'll just be more honest, cause this is the raw and uncensored section so I should be really honest — I am really careful to say that I only think it LOOKS LIKE IT with this idea that they just heard the news that I had techno assassination stuff at work, and SO ONLY NOW are they even coming in to start heping. As I've mentioned in previous entries, my belief is that they have already BEEN for all these years completely all over it with my work to protect me with their technological means. Because I believe that before I even understood my own work with UNITY LIFE Mystery School, they already knew of it from Ayahuasca. Specifically Courtney Love and NIRVANA, and word gets around. I think they were actually legally using surveillance on me since a long time before I found NIRVANA, and technological abilities to control dangers against me. I think the medicine taught them that my role for NIRVANA is so important that they need to protect me to make sure I don't die. And so they always have. 

But my belief is, they have so much technical control  over what happens with these harassments at work that they can actually modify it to exactly how much they choose. They are not legally obligated to intervene to save me from every little thing. What they do, in my opinion, is they leave some things always open to happen to me from these assailants, so that they can capture it on surveillance and stack it up for lawsuits they're working on. I think it's been already happening iwth lawsuits already, but these lawsuits keep continuing and escalating over time. 

Here's what I really think is that CoSM itself has been sued actually a long time ago. And that's a huge part of why they're so mad at me, and why this has escalated. You'd think they would have stopped based on having been sued. But what happene dis, they wanted revenge, so they went out to get help on how to get me. And what I think they did is, they networked with other violation networks thinking those violation networks might take the blame off them and they wouldn't be sued if it's no tthem, and they somehow struck up a deal with these other gangs to get their help against me. Like trading in favours and it's considered off the record. And my certainty has been, that's what the stars have wanted because they wanted to really sue the big money. They wanted this to intersect into the big money institutions where they do the most damage to all of humanity and where there's actually REALLY substantial money to get out of it. Using their technology, they're actually capable of taking these dangerous bets and calls which seem dangerous and why would they risk it — but I believe they are 1000000% confident they know how to ensure their sucess with a superior technolgoy they have which they know is better than the others. 

And it's that technology which I will strive to explain in the 16 KEYS SUPPORT TOOL but it's VERY hard to uncensor that (lol). That's SO HARD. I'm so stuck with that sometimes (lol). But yeah I've erally thought about it a lot. And ther's much I could say about it. 

But tha's usually censored cause if you don't believe in that technology then to hold this theory of mine, you'd hae to assume they are treating me like gambling chips not like a human being they actually need to protect. On the deepest level of my being I know that's not how it is, at least to hte ponit of death or real more severe harm. But in the process of all this I've been very very VEERRRRRYY HURT by what they DIDN'T protect. And that's all healable, and I'm still trusting them not only wit my life but with my art too, if we'd collaborate. But just so you kow, that's what REALLY goes on between us in my thought (lol). I think to them "How could you not protect me from THIS ONE??!! You FUCKERS". Haha but it's not like I'm actually ever that mad at them for real (lol). I understand that in order o get all these lawsuits done enough that i can get better more, it just has to keep working till it's done more. I've come a long way in my life. I'm no longer homeless and my life ahs improved so well in the past 4 years. I know that will only continue .... probably in a very gradual way and morally not a huge escalation. I don't see myself suddenly blowing up ad becoming rich like happened to NIRVANA, cause NIRVANA is the ones behind me and they really understand, sudden escalation can be scary. 

Ayway I have no business to offer if I was suddenly famous and blew up on social media lol. My art store wouldn't even be a solid lifestyle I think. Just as if, imagine if I got enough views on my reels to make sales on art? What is that like on BILLION views to one sale realistically? (lol). HAHAHA. I just don't know if this art business thing was enough for THAT. Even if it was. unlimited sales of my art, that would atually suck to have to just live my life as a factory insteadof a real artist. I don't really want to be a factory worker for a living. I should raise my prices now that I think of it. But anyway, you never know, but I am NOT expecting THAT anyway (lol). But I was just saying. 

But. anyway, about this belief of mine that they've been on this. OK — so I think that they allowed it to get much worse right now on purpose, and i know that's tragic and harsh. I dn't blame them for that. I think that they were fabricating some kind of a story for the front end of how this would look. I think they needed to signal to me that it was time to put it on my show on UNITY LIFE wiht the cry for help that I posted. They wanted me to expose the enemies at CoSM because they felt it was finally safe to expose it and they wanted it to be on the show that they naswered the call because that's the TRUTH. THEY have been the ones who were answering the call for all these years, and they always will be. And they deserve that, for there to be a show that looks like just on the surface you can easily see the public easy to read story just on social media or anwyhere, is the story that they have saved me from these violators. And that's what I got from it when things went down so hard :( But it was a very hard time. 

I also believe that they had a bigger lawsuit set up too. It's not just for public persona and image that they would do such a horrile thing. I think they also did have a big banger set up to go. They SET UP LAWSUITS. They know how. They can see when it's going to go to bigger mayhem and worse conditions and problems and ironically that's when it's a better bigger lawsuit so that's a GOOD thing (lol). I just think they have a big one right now they knew they would get. So they thought, take advantage of the stiuation, you know? Make th best of a shit situation and now that we're making some bigger porgress, finally in safety to be able to speak out against these enemies, finally do that and when so, portray it as such that the branch is saving me. It's just taht situation I'm in where a bad thing is a good thing, cause my life is only of stopping violation and danger so, when they get me real bad is when we get them real good. But progressively and slowly it's getting better overall though for my life as a result of the pattern. Not right now, but just if you look at me now compared to when I was homeless, it's a huge healing in my life. 

But that's really more honest to what I'm experiencing right now is that it's like we have a bigger lawsuit right now and that's coming out as a bad experience for me mostly. Righ tnow. And I feel like things have been just escalating in chaos in my life. I say that things are betterat work, but the burjeria recently got sooooo fucking BAD :((((((( For like 3 days I was in the ultimate hell of all time with the brujeria suddenly worse. And I know why that happened (cry). I know what it was. I twas gain, more network efforts in violation. They just join up with a whole other netork of violation to get more activity against me, and that really works right into the brujeria. I think literally actually the brujeria too is to do with the lawsuits much more intricately. I think that some of the 16 KEYS are not sicence fiction, they are actual patents owned by the branch. All of them could even be said, depending on how I explain it if it's properly. Liek one of the 16 KYES is the human body (lol) so not like we have a patnet on being a human being lol. But it's a patent of sicence technology. They know a certain genetic activity that can be caused under certain conditions and they have a ptatent on that science technology that is the ownership on the technique for how to cause that behaviour. 

And this applies to certain experiences I've had which have a spiritual style in a sense to how I would explain it. It's like a thing that happens in my body and mind that I know they have it patented that they could interact with me using this method, which is just causing naturally for my DNA to behave in certain actviity according to a certain method which is ethical and visionary which is the 16 KEYS in some of it. But the thing is, brujeria generally, it's like it's an old ancient method of controlling a person's experience right? Using spiritual harmful techniques right? Well here's what I think they did. They allowed CoSM to imagine they were getting access to these patents to abuse their use, but it was not that. It was part of their patent information but not all of it but it gave them the impression it coudl be abused, and it could but they could never eally own the patents by just manipulating part of them. And it was like, the thing is, it needed tobe made illegal for these patents to be used in parts. But it's not yet illegal for only a part of their science technology patent to be broken into a part. what they've done is, they broke it into a part to have it abused, with the neemies thinking it's the whole thing but it's not, it's made for the sake of a lawsuit against the to catch them in this. But the thing is, after enough of these lawsuits, maybe they can make it illegal to break their patent into parts, but until then they are doing it themselves just for purposes of lawsuits against this problem it causes when you do that. 

And I think CoSM and the sorcerers from peru that I mention, and any evil person, would want to use those patents to harm people by controlling them. But these patents, they don't work like that. They are nothing of harm. They would only create the conditions for a biological life form to behave in a natural way. But ther's just a bit of harm really in it being a broken up part of it cause that's. not the greater level and its' open that way to being misused. 

But anyway the whole rason I explained that was just to get a little more into it about what I'm saying why I think the brujeria intensifies sometimes when there are new violation networks getting sourced. 

But yeah that's what happened, regardless of what caused it. the brujeria intensified on me so badly for a few days recently and I'm only now feeling better, and feeling better yesterday a lot. Today MUCH better. S only now can I talk about what happened (cry). OMG that was the harshest few days ever. I had a lot of really bad things happen during this time. A guy raped me at work, I got this bad 3 days with brujeria lately, just OMG it's been a really hard time (cry). But I'm still really thankful though that the situation with money at work, the amount I can make has been getting better and I pray it will continue (cry). It's so stressful cause no matter how much I believe this seems so orchestrated and precise just how much harm will come, it's always so scary wondering if maybe that's not right to invest in crazy beliefs like that, and I feel like I'm just scared cause life is real, and everything seems threatening. Like just if I've struggled to make rent, how will my business get better? Well I'm doing my very best. 

But the thing is what happend this last month is, I would make enoug money for rent and bills, then have a couple days before the other obligation time to make more money for it, and during that time when I could have been easily making more money just for me to enjoy life I felt SLAMMMMMED with brujeria that I can't because whatever, it's just brujeria for some rason, and that's weird. So I could not work because I didn't feel well. Why is everything so precise, even my moods and energy levels and everthing, so that I can manage. to work only exactly enough to be able to exactly make just enough rent? And NO MORE. It has that incredibly distinct feeling. I've actually come to expect it's very real, if I've made rent, I really may as well not even TRY to work, seriously, cause something will happen — it will either be sketch mayhem from robots in AI or else if not, because now they're getting that under control as the new show, now just brujeria making me feel like shit. 

Like no — that latest few days was the worst I can remember. Well maybe not THE absolute? I dont' know, it's like that kind of a thing. 

So that's the THING how it was, it really sucked. I felt really sooooo upset. Like I wrote out in this journal, I was a bit anxioius that I hadn't heard from 30STM about the job, you know? Well like, that felt like the thing. It felt like brujeria was almost feeling somehow liscenced to go harder on me now because they stopped interacting with me more frequently. I remember it had been 10 days since I had heard from them last at one point and I was feeling as though that's really horrible an dsuch a long time. You know, cause I'm making sense of things like that in my own way but I feel lik ethe brujeria is just RAILING ON MY FUCKING ASS ABOUT IT like trying to massively program me to feel like that means cataclysm. 

But I'm writing this here before I go back to that timeline ://A\\rc)}’Hi\\V//e: and reorder my story of. my interactions history with 30STM to follow the progression explaine in the article I just linked you to. It's as promised, now that will have those stages into it. But first I just wanted to come here. Because so honest with you seriously — THIS is more what I'm honestly saying is my expression to 30STM right now. This is just more authetnic to me right now than being all magically cool about the story aligning with this progression. I love that archive, but to the band, I'm not all "YAY it's GREAT — everything's happy in my empowerement of the Great Pyramid today!". I do feel great, but no .... just to be way mre real and honest, this has been a VERY HARD TIME FOR ME. Fckin BURN. 

And i was so optimistic too in that timeline story. It siad that part 'Relief - the brujeria was calming down so much nd this seemed because of 30STM" and it WAS, and I do think that happened. I don't think I was mistaken and it was just a quick temporary relief in an ongoing back and forth. I do think that this latest hard time was not that the previous one wasn't real. the previous one, the changes that were caused by that healing are permenant and some things will really never be hte same again as a result of that time. But the fact is, they can just chain link onto other violator networks in this cascade effect right now for this lawsuit thing going on. So yes it can get worse suddenly. They resolve one thing but then it goes to another. That's a build, that's causing a larger healing eventually from all these interconnected net works getting busted togeher. But I felt bad, I didn't want to say on the timeline that things got really bad again. Cause I didn't want to amke it seem irrelevant with the point I had made, that they were doing a healing on their end somehow. 

And that's part of why I felt like I needed in a way to do the antechamber as a different style now too. Cause I just reached the point where it's no longer all that honest for me to say the story in such a poingantn way as I've been styling it so simply and well siaid, that it comes out to a good tory to tell on teh show. The real true honesty is that it's a bit of a brutal show (lol). It's a brutal, overly complex and raw, super long unfiltered rant of a fucking show to be more honest. And it's not prttty enough for my taste for that timeline to just say "Things wnet all to motherfucking HELL AGAIN" :(((((. That's not gonna "work" haha, but I'm serious though, it's supposed tobe an honest authentic timeline story. So what I'm going to do instead is give a link to this exhaustive reading with a fore explanation and just say in short to the band through that timeline incase they need an update, what's been going on. But if they REALLY care, they'll copy an dpaste this whole motherfucker of a post right into ChatGPT and say "summarie really well for me how she's doing. Nto just be satisfied with the title of the post "Things are getting better at work" (lol). I don't even know how I'll do it actually yet in the antechamber. Long stoyry short, all I care about right now is getting that timeline fixec up just to respect the pyramid progression theme I invented into it now, and then I have no rush to express how it's going on the antechamber ournals. Whatever. Cause I think thy are following this blog. 

So you see my voice has changed. I'm now saying that they barely track me. I'm now saying that they migth not have any way to read this except get a quick summary from ChatGPT, I'm no longer claiming they have something so much greater than any commercial AI product weve ever seen at the consumer end, that it's. a miralce it's legal for anyone but the military to have it. Haha. Well that's the way to go (lol). Normally be fake in that way (lol). I'm so sorry but that's free speech somedays is that there's gotta be a more complex version of the story like here, and thten on the front end, just simplify life for people. Cause people are not responsible to process this stuff, man. I think it's not their JOB to worry that much about what kind of technology might exist and that's a very exitntial contemplation and a bit paranoid for them. So I just give them pretty 16 KEYS and try to lightly urge them that it's fun to imagine beautiful things. That's all. I'm just lying every day (lol). 

But I think we all do. So I don't feel like I've been inauthentic in my timeline. My goal was to be authentic, but I admit, part of this seems to be just accepting their urging as I take it as, to find a way to simplify what seems to be going on. I cried for help, they may have technology able to respond as it appears Manson does, so it seems someone got it and responded and I don't know who or how, but they are slowly getting it. Meanwhile, it's not all resolved in brujeria but on that timeline I've said it was like 75% but not all the way healed. Then later hwen it's like 100% I'll a nnounce that but I'm not going to say that it went back down to like feeling as though only 2% healed realistically lol. Or that it works in cycles. I don't know if explaining cycles of the brujeria clearing within that it gets worse too is really my show desire. I don't have that ambiton. 

But that's WHY I was upset with the brujeria though. I felt like they were wrecking my timeline :(((( So when I got this antechamber idea for the timeline that was a stroke of genius to turn it around on them. I'm so proud o fmyself for that. That was POWERFUL ENDURANCE and smart thinkingin a REAL JAM. And you can expect no less. I will continue to perform like a MACHINE. As I always have and always will. But I sure know 30STM is proud of me for things like that, and all my family of stars who care. 

And during those hardest days I felt like I felt a spiritual message from Dave Grohl saying he loves my free speech no matter how upset I am, even if I'm breaking down, to cry it out, or freak out, and write ANYTHING just so that those ba dviolators will be exposed on UNITY LIFE. But I took that message and replied. I said it's just my natural way that I do not like to speak publicly very much when I am upset. I mean REALLY upset as a rare blue moon amount. In those times I do prefer as a usual style to always kinda just ride it through. I feel like it's too much exposure for me to have to worry what peope might think of me in my public display on top of already having to cope with what I'm going through in such a hard time too, so that make sit harder for me. And plus, of course, when I feel better then I can do a better job at writing.

But I do agree iwht Dave though, that it's not like I should worry about wha ta good job I can do as a writer, because it's really cool to be raw and uncensored in part of the website and that's a major coolness factor, not a detracting issue at all about me. But I just felt, I take prid ethough in doing nice jobs on things too. I need to keep these things balanced at least. And I hadn't done a good archvie in a while. So I cried out in my diaries. I wroe as a call to the stars "Please don't expect raw and unfiltered rants when I feel bad like this to report it to you. Plese instead, stop the brujeria enough so that I can wire a formal job n good writing as a product in UNITY LIFE Archive please. Because I need that brujeria stopped just for that, because tat would make em feel proud of mysel fand feel better from powerful discipline of creative arts precision and might help my brain waves and patterns to focus a lot n something that tkaes more focused effort which I love and enjoy". And in response, it felt like, it cleared just enough that I could write that. And i was the product of my reflections so far leading up to that time though too. So I was grateful for that support. 

Bu yeah I just agree again and again that it's cool to also do these updates. Cause right now I have this blog in a serious time. 

And something else I just wanted to say too at work. One other thing. For some rason it hasn't had a logica place to put this. Maybe buried at hte ed is better cause no one reads this far I guess. the thing is, it did seem at work that somene was trying to lure me with lots of money and manipulation into a dangerous place to kill me — but they were stopped I think by the technology. I think the technology is the reason that they just disappeared. But if if wasn't the technology stopping them, and they just disappeared mysteriously, that actually makes no sense but I guess they. might have been a robot just trying to waste my time with weird offers of money into extremely sketchy locations and stuff, just to anoy me and waste my time I think it was. And I shouldn't have accepted the offer to that kind of a bad part of the city, but I was just scared about money as always. But good thing my angels are watching over me and they will never let that happen to me that I'll be murdered. 

You kow the thing is, I was more confused than scared about money. I think the brujeria got me confused, was why I was not that scared and running away by this person. CAuse this person — I could tell the vibe was robotic or if a real person, like a person who's like a robot, cause those kinds of humans do exist you know? Like that person did have a very vacant atmosphere. Under normal conditions I wouldn't have trusted this person and when they asked me to travel to them in the sketchiest part of town, assuring me there was security and plenty of safety there, I stll thought that part of town is an obvious red flag. Then I thought the guy seems lame. So I would never normally have even been into that even with all the money to be honest, cause I would have been suspicious that it was not for real or something like that or just superstitious that it's not meant to be. 

I try not to be paranoid about people though just because I'm being assaulted by AI robots. I know how that can make you sometimes sketch out and assume the wrost of someone when you've seen it a thousand times that certain seemingly innocent things to say are not so innocent after all cause it's a trolling wiht robots. So that's part of the confusion in a sense, lightly. I can feel the vibe on a person for real, but a part of me gets brujeria and sorta it's like all those thoughts of self-doubt just maybe are like coming around my mind to make me think it's as if I have no right to object. Really I think it's brujeria saying things like "You have no right to object" when in truth, I do, but then the way my brain processes it, just stresses of self-doubt seem to come up just in feeling overly awkward incase I'm wrong just if I'm being silly to thorw out a financial opportunity. Cause the brujeria often shames me all the time to say I'm failing at working hard enough. But I've been performing like a monster. I'm ultimate at what I do, it's the most incredible work I do. But if I ever falter whatsoever sometimes it's so much shame energy coming at me ... like I just don't feel it's my faltering at all. I just feel it's brujeria causing me to falter. I can tell. 

and if I ever do "falter" naturally, I really think it's wtihin normal reason ust whatever, that any person gets tired or confused sometimes and that's OK, that's actually different. It's more like this programming field that's trying to shame me where it stops my energy and stops my body and pushes me hard and then goes "It's YOUR FAULT NOW you won't get money". Then it wants to use that for like "Why reject this guy to that sketchy part of town? Are you just imagining things? Cause you have to do your best to treat it as an opportunity, right? Don't be paranoid". 

Anyway, I'm a really powerful intuitive and an excellent very professional communicator and I'm very powerful at what I do. But I want out (cry). The reality is that in a situation like this, anyone would if it's like this. But if it wasn't that way, I would still want out. So I'm focused on this way of expressing that side of it, and pretty sure that's how it will be for awhile before the job manifests.